Friday, December 31, 2010

Totally Random Crap

I really should be writing an end of the year post - and maybe I will tomorrow. But to be honest, I doubt it. It's more likely that I'll get sidetracked and not do it. (Hey, at least I'm honest!) Anyway, here's just a bunch of random little things that will most likely in no way relate to one another!

- I change my haircolor more often than most people change their underwear. I'm sure a psychologist would have a heyday with this, and give me all sorts of mumbo jumbo about how if I change my look I feel I can change my life or some such. Not true. I just get bored easy. (Maybe I could do a post for "2010 in My Hair Review"??)

- I have no problem with hundreds of strangers reading my blog, but for some reason I get nervous when Husband reads it. Maybe it is some deep seated psych thing where I don't think it will be good enough for him. Or that he'll find out how seriously fucked up I am. Who knows...

- I hate looking in the mirror. There's always a new wrinkle, or a stray hair somewhere it shouldn't be. In my head, I'm still stuck around the age of 25, but the mirror tells me that my head is wrong. Way wrong.

- I miss my Dad & Mom. A LOT. Talking on the phone is not the same  as face to face. I hate having to come home when I go visit, and I hate them leaving when they come to visit. Funny, 20 years ago, I couldn't wait to be out in the world. Now I just want spend every second with them.

- I'm a hypocrite. I expect my kids to keep their bedrooms clean. Yet my bedroom is a mess. F5 tornadoes probably leave behind less of a mess than what is in my bedroom. Husband hates it. He's a neat freak. Truth be known, I hate it, too. I just can not get up the energy to clean it. I know once I do, then i'll want to rearrange it. I don't have time for it. Seriously.

- I have a hard time trusting women. I have more male friends than women friends. It probably has something to do with all the bitches that stabbed me in the back in High School. You know, the ones that 20 years later find you on facebook & pretend y'all were best friends. Women - you know what I'm talking about. Men - trust me, women don't change. 90% of them are still the exact same fake bitches they were when you were 16. (maybe not to you - but, ask your wife or gf, I'm sure they'll know what I'm talking about)

- I have endometriosis. It's a bitch. It hurts. It fucks with your body and your mind. Don't know what it is? It's when the shit that lines your uterus grows outside it. This shit implants in the abdominal cavity. On the intestines. Hell, it's been found as far up as the lungs and brain. It totally fucks with your hormones. (read: PMS on steroids) There is no cure. Some doctors will tell you to get a hysterectomy, but if asked, they will tell you it's only a treatment. A treatment that lasts 5 years on average. They want to gut me like a fish, take away all that makes me a woman for a "treatment" that lasts FIVE FUCKING YEARS. Thanks, but no thanks.

- I'm pissed at myself right now. I just realized I forgot to buy the 3rd and final Stieg Larsson book. This means I'm stuck rereading an old book or finding something on freebooks for my Pre. (i can't bring myself to buy a digital book. If I'm going to spend money on a book, I want to be able to feel the paper & turn the pages.)

Enough random stuff for now. In case I don't do a year end post - here's to an exciting and happy New Year to all of you!

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Favorite Picture of 2010

It's the end of the year, so I decided to go through my phone, and clean out some of the junk I have stored in here.

Instead, I found a bunch of pictures I'd forgotten I even had.

Like the one posted above.

It seems fitting that first picture I share of me, also includes Husband. 

Most would agree that though we don't look like this but once a year, this picture fits us.

It shows that we can have fun.

It shows that we don't care about looking perfect all the time.

It shows that we enjoy each other, even though we can both go to extremes.

It also happens to be Halloween (my favorite holiday!), and our anniversary! (ok, so it was the 30th, which IS our anniversary, but not REALLY Halloween. Close enough!)

So, dear readers, I pronounce this my favorite pic of 2010.

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Ever Want To See How Old You Really Are?

You do? Really?? Then read on....

I found out just how old I am getting a few nights ago.

Husband and I went to the bar with a few friends, to wind down and, well, to be honest, make sure everyone got home ok! (Yes, I know, that right there probably shows I'm getting older, too. Don't remind me!)

On the other side of the bar were a few guys playing pool. My initial reaction to one of them went something like this:

"Oh hell, not another young, cocky asshole. I hate even being in the same room with people like HIM. Please, don't let him ass up and try and start a fight with someone in here."

I then went on about what I was doing - talking w/friends, drinking, smoking (yes, bad habit, I know), and generally enjoying our night out.

Then I caught sight of the young man again. What ran through my mind:

"Why do guys like that seem to think they're all that? I mean, seriously, yes, it's obvious that's he's been in military. That should mean I should respect him. But, really, how can I respect someone who acts like they are God's gift to women? Oh, and look, how cute! The waitress is falling for his crap! She'll learn soon enough!"

I went back to my friends and Husband, tried to control Drunk Friend.

Drunk Friend wouldn't listen.

Wanted to touch everyone in bar.

Especially all the women. I wonder to myself what will happen when she does that to wrong woman, and gets more than she expected.



Telling Drunk Friend to behave, and leave that poor woman's hair alone.



Watch Husband play pool.

Watch Husband beat the guy he's playing 3 times in a row.

Watch guy he's playing decide to leave bar.

Tell Drunk Friend to sit down and behave.


Play some music.

See a friend, talk to her for awhile.


Tell Drunk Friend that really, I don't want to dance.



Drunk Friend goes and dances by herself.


Then it fucking hits me.

I'm fucking OLD.

Dude that has been annoying me from just the way he looks and acts?

That. Is. What. I. Would. Have. Been. Drawn. To. When. I. Was. Younger.

Much younger.

When in the hell did I pass that age that cocky guys became annoying? 

When they were no longer something I would have gone after, or hooked up a friend with?

OMG I'm fucking OLD.


Young people annoy me.

The way they think they know EVERYTHING.

The way they walk like they own the world.

Their clothes.

Their music. (Ok, only some of it. I secretly like most of it. Except Rap. Can't stand that crap. At least not what they all rap nowadays.)

Holy fuck. I'M OLD.


And the really scary part?

I think I like being old. No, scratch that, I love it.

I love not having to worry about the young, cocky guys. The backstabbing, bitchy girls.

I love Husband. I love him when we fight. I love him when we're sitting at the house. I love him when we're out.

Wait. Maybe I'm not old. Maybe I'm just extremely happy where I am, and who I'm with.

Fuck, who am I kidding. Yes, I'm happy where I'm at, and who I'm with. But I'm OLD, too.

Just wait, one of these days, you will be somewhere, doing something you've done dozens of times. And it WILL hit you. 

You are not who you used to be. You are no longer young and carefree.

You're now an adult, and young people will both scare you and annoy the shit out of you.

Trust me. It will happen.

Saturday, December 25, 2010

I Hope Everyone Had A Great & Merry Day!

I hope all of you out there in Blogland had a good day! 

Our kids actually slept in until 9:30, and didn't touch the Santa presents until we were up.

(Then all hell broke loose! :) Paper was flying everywhere!)

I played good mom and made a very (un)healthy, but fantastic brunch. Croissants cut in half and toasted in a pan, scrambled eggs with heavy cream, and smoked salmon. It held them all over until I FINALLY got the holiday dinner on the table at 2:45!

The goose was great, steaks from the grill were fantastic. Too many sides to list. And homemade cheesecake for dessert. (Why didn't someone remind me how much of a pain in the ass these were to make?? I was up til 3 a.m. Baking the 2 cheesecakes!) 

The only thing missing were Mom and Dad, but we talked on the phone a few times throughout the day.

Everyone is still tuffed from grazing all day.

The kids are overdosing on video games and magic tricks.

For the first time in a long time, the kids got what they wanted. And in their words, "It was the best Christmas ever! Not only did we get what we wanted, we got even more!"

Yay for online shopping and easy price comparison! Yay for discount cards to video game stores!

If it weren't for those two things, the kids wouldn't have gotten half of what they did. 

AND we did it under budget!!

Now I'm going to sit down, and try not to fall asleep!

Have a good night all!


Ok, this week's Blog Gang is supposed to be about Christmas. I personally do not consider what I celebrate as "Christmas". I'm more of the old school type of person. Way old school. I'm celebrating the winter solstice. The time of year when the days finally start getting longer. When the earth prepares to start to reawaken in a few months. The rebirth of the sun.

Yes, I know, I've probably just made some of you gasp in horror. You've just discovered you've been reading a non-Christian blog. Trust me, you won't be struck down for it. I promise.

If it makes y'all feel better, this believer of the old ways reads your Christian blogs, and quite enjoys them, thank you very much! :)

My children do believe in God, Jesus, and the Virgin Mother. I encourage it. Every single living being has the right to choose their religion.

We do put up a tree, we exchange gifts, Santa still comes and visits our home. I enjoy Christmas carols, the beautiful decorations on all the homes (ours included!)

Our family has a traditional meal, where we gather those we love and break bread together. Some of them share my beliefs, some of them share yours, hell, some of them may worship Barney the purple dinosaur.

You see, to me it doesn't matter what religion you may follow. Whether you celebrate the rebirth of the sun, or the birth of the Son, it makes no difference to me.

Good people are good people. Bad people are bad people. There are both in every religion. I make an effort to surround myself with those that are basically good. Who believe in giving more than receiving. Those who put out more good in the world. Those who expect nothing in return. People who can look beyond themselves, and see people for what they really are, no matter what they believe.

Now, I've got to get back to my baking and cooking, in preparation for our family gathering tomorrow. (see, we really aren't that different!)

Happy Holidays to all! Whether you celebrate Christmas, the solstice, Hannakuh, etc - just remember this: celebrate and find joy in all that you do. Find joy in the smallest things. Hug your loved ones a little tighter. Remember to give all that you can!

Sunday, December 19, 2010

My mood today (music)

Bah, Humbug!

Dear Elves,

I know I'm supposed to be all happy an in the holiday spirit. But not this year.

I just can't get into it. At all.

Maybe it has something to do with Oldest wanting yet another electronic device. I seriously don't have a clue why he even wants it.

We got him a PSP a few years ago, it was gone in a month. Seems he didn't like listening to us, and took it to school. He left it in his gym locker. Unlocked. It was stolen. He didn't tell us. His friend did three months later.

Then we got him a DSi XL. I haven't seen it in months. Truth be known, I question where it went, too.

I just spent $224 on something that will probably be gone before winter is over. Yay!!

Youngest isn't any better. He changes his list daily, and it's always small things.

 So far, I've ordered him one gift, and it's not even here yet. 

Just asked him again what he wants, and he wants things to do electric experiments with. (Should I be worried that maybe he's building an electric chair for the dog or his brother??) 

Oh, and Pokemon cards. I thought those had died and left the planet 5 years ago when Oldest got past them. I was wrong.

Husband wants a big screen HD TV. (Truth be known, I wouldn't mind this, either.) The problem? I don't know a damn thing about any of these TVs. To me, the 42 inch one for $350 looks just as good as the 45 inch for $1800. Seriously - what is the difference?

Then they all want to know what I want. I want to be a millionaire. That way I can pay someone to do all the shopping. Maybe they can get it done sooner than 5 days before the big day.

Seriously. I'm not even half done shopping. And I haven't had a day off in 3 weeks. I won't have a day off before Christmas. WHEN THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSE TO SHOP??!?!?

Youngest is getting worried. There are no gifts under the tree. He is optimistic that I just have them hidden somewhere o he can't shake them.

I'm not telling him any different. 

So, dear Elves, please, do me a favor. Make all those gift appear for me. Just this once. I'll never ask again. I promise. 

Next year, I'll go for Mother of the Year award. I'll have all my shopping done in July.


Ok, probably not.

But I can dream.

Friday, December 17, 2010


Yes, all, it is snowing down here in Texas.

And I love it!

I would love it more if I didn't have to work this afternoon and could play in it.

I took a few quick pictures this morning, but I think this is by far my favorite.

It is very fitting for the season, isn't it?

Strange how something as simple as snow can brighten my mood. Most people hate it.

I, however, think it makes the world look clean, refreshed, and happy.

Yes, I know, I'm weird. You don't have to say it!

Hope y'all have a good day, thanks to the snow, I know I will!

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Things Your Tattoo Artist (probably) Won't Tell You

I'm serious y'all, what you are about to read is thing your tattoo artist I probably thinking, but is too polite to tell you.

1. We don't care what Kat Von D did this week on her soap opera. There are many more artists out there with just as much, if not more talent, without all the drama.

2. That cute little tattoo that you spent 30 minutes going through 100 pages of flash that called your name, and you had to have? Well, it called to at least 20 other people in the past 2 months, too.

3. The "custom" piece your buddy "drew" for you, that's one of a kind? Ten bucks says I can go to my flash racks and find that "custom, one of a kind piece".

4. Your spouse's/boyfriend's/girlfriend's name - yeah, that's not a tattoo - that's a property marker. And in 95% of them, we, or someone else will be covering it in a year.

5. We are actually not charging you as much as our time is worth. Even though you think tattoo prices are high, sometimes it barely covers our supplies.

6. Tips, while not expected, really are appreciated.

7. Your 15 person support group is not needed. The tattoo will not hurt any less with them there. (In fact, if you are one of the unlucky few that get light-headed or sick, you now have 15 people that WILL tell EVERYONE you know.)

8. Tribal art is not a fun tattoo to do. Go steal your kids' coloring books, and start coloring in them. You can only use a black crayon though. Let me know afte the first or second solid black picture how much fun it is.

9. Do not expect a stellar response if you ask for tribal, Taz, the Superman symbol, or barbwire. I'd bet almost anything, that we have seen and done every variation of those.

10. Not every tattoo has to have a meaning. Many of your artist's tattoos are there simply because we liked them. There are no stories behind them. Really. I promise.

11. See #1, again.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

No, I'm not all right

I've gotten some emails from some you wanting to know if I'm ok. It seems that when I don't post often enough, people get worried. Or, when I do post, and it's not my normal sarcastic self, people get worried.

Truth be known? No, I am not all right. In fact, I'm half left. Ok, that was a poor excuse for a joke, I know.

Seriously though, I think it's just that time of fucking year.

No matter how much or how little money I have, it's never enough. Or, in actuality, I thought it was going to be enough, then one of my family members got put in jail for an unpaid ticket, and guess who got to help bail them out?? There went that $400 cushion...

The days are too damn short. Not hour wise, obviously, but sun wise. Even though I'm an insomniac, and stay up late, I love the sun. The fact that daylight savings time makes it to where there is an extra hour of sun in the morning does absolutely nothing for me. I need my extra hour in the evening, thank you very much.

Even thought this is the "slow" time of year for us business wise, it's never as slow as we seem to think it is. It's just not as busy as we'd like it to be. But, me being me, decide, "hey, December is slow in the tattoo world, so make sure and keep yourself busy doing other things. Selling wickless candles, making plans with other people, doing things with/for the kids, etc." That's when all hell breaks looses.

I fucking overextended myself - again. I do this regularly, then Husband wonders why I never accomplish anything. It also doesn't help that I am easily sidetracked: working, working, working....wait...did I take care of this?? Check on this. I got it half way done. Decide I need to finish it. Finish. Working, working, working...shit, I forgot I was supposed to do THAT four fucking days ago. Hurry off to do that. Working, working....oh hell, I'm behind on what?? Rush to try and finish what. Working....wait....what the hell was I originally working on? Try and remember for 15 minutes. Phone rings, take care of this and that. Still can't remember what I was originally working on. Say fuck it it's ok, I'll eventually remember. (Yes, this is REALLY what happens to me daily. Seriously. No joke.)

And now, ladies and gentleman, you truly know the answer to. "Are you ok?" (Ok, seriously? You can't figure that out on your own??? The damn answer is NO, I'm NOT ok! Just ask Husband, I'm sure he will be more than happy to provide even more examples of how I lose track of EVERYTHING.)

Monday, December 13, 2010

Losing My Haven

I was looking through some pictures on my phone, and suddenly realized I only have a few weeks left to enjoy one of my favorite places to run away to.

Due to water levels going to record lows, the marina at the local lake is closing down January first.

The dock there is where I taught my youngest son to fish, and he liked it so well, it's all he ever wants to do.

I caught my first - and second - walleye from this dock.

When we have a bad day at work, this is where Husband and I go to unwind. We throw in a few poles, sit & talk, enjoy the scenery, and if we catch something it's a bonus.

If Husband and I are having one of "those" days, it's not unknown for me to take a few hours to myself and hide at the lake with nothing but the fish for company.

We're not fairweather fishermen, either. Those walleye? I caught them in November a year or so ago. So, this isn't something that will hit next spring, this is effecting me in the here and now.

In just a few weeks, the dock will be gone.

I don't know where I'll go to find my little piece of sanity after that.


If I've figured right, we are officially into the "12 days of Christmas" time of year. When I was a kid, this is about the time I went nuts trying to get my parents to let me open even ONE gift.

I guess I'm falling down on my parenting skills, as I have yet to even buy my kids one single gift.

In all honesty, I know what they want, and I know what I'm getting them. I just really, really don't want to have to go to the stores to buy it.

I'd planned on buying most of it online, so that I could avoid all the crazy, rude, last minute shoppers. Alas, it seems I've waited too long to even do that.

Time to put my big girl pants on and go fight the crowds. *sigh*

Think my kids would get mad if I just postponed the gift part of the holidays until say, March?

Friday, December 10, 2010

It's time to confess!

Yes, it's that time again! Time to vent and confess!

I confess:

  • that I'm really starting to hate the whole Holiday/Christmas time of year.
  • it seems every where I turn there is someone expecting me to give a handout.
  • I don't mind donating, but I can only give so much.
  • my kids aren't any different than the charities.
  • every year they seem to think they deserve to get more and more and more.
  • I'm thisclose to telling them this year there will be no presents.
  • I wouldn't really do that, but sometimes it is tempting.
  • this is also one of the busiest times of year for me.
  • as a Scentsy consultant, I sell more during the next week than I sell in the whole month of July.
  • I can sleep in January.
  • I'm really not complaining, my Scentsy pay is buying all the things my kids think they need for Christmas.
  • I did take 4 hours to myself today
  • I had my hair done.
  • I don't even feel guilty.
  • this is the first time in over 2 months that I took time to do this.
  • it's looks pretty awesome if  I do say so, myself.
  • husband even likes it.
  • that's always a bonus.

Thursday, December 9, 2010


When I originally started writing this blog gang post, I was going to talk about my experiences with marriage, and how finally on my 3rd marriage I managed to get it right.

Then it happened.

I had a friend told by her manager that she could no longer refer to her wife as her wife. The reason she was given was that it "might offend" some of the customers that came in the store. The next excuse was that it was for her own "protection".

I was instantly pissed, in fact I still am.

Who has the right to tell another human being that they are no longer allowed to admit who they love? In my opinion, no one has that right. No one has the right to tell someone it may "offend" someone else, while the whole time they are offending the person standing in front of them.

Who are you, I, or anyone else to tell someone they can't love who they love? You can't control that, it happens to you.

A marriage is a vow between two people to love, cherish, and stand by each other through good times and bad. It's not about one of you must have a vagina and the other a penis. It's no one's business what a married couple does behind a closed bedroom door, as long as it's consensual.

What are people so scared of that they can't "legalize" same sex marriage? Don't give me the argument it will ruin heterosexual marriages. Unless one of the people is gay or a lesbian, it will not effect their marriage at all. (And just a guess, if one of them are homosexual and the other heterosexual, there are already issues in that marriage.)

Here's a novel idea: instead of worrying about letting gays and lesbians marry, start looking at the divorce rate between heterosexuals. Look at the murder rates, the sexual assaults, child abuse, etc. Let's start worrying about something that is a hell of a lot more likely to happen to all of us, instead of worrying that homosexuals are going to try and secretly convert everyone.

I want everyone to stop and think for a minute. Would you look at your accountant different if they're a lesbian? Your doctor different if he's gay? No? Then why not give them the right to devote and share their lives with the person they love.

Because that's what marriage should be about: Love. Respect. Caring. Trust. Devotion.

Sunday, December 5, 2010

And they say Kansas is flat....

Since I transplanted to Texas almost 12 years ago, I've heard all the Kansas jokes. How flat it is, no running water, Dorothy & the Land of Oz (ok, that is actually pretty kick ass), etc, etc.

Then you drive down roads in Texas, and you wonder how in the hell Texans have any room to say anything about Kansas...

Don't get me wrong, I still think landscapes like this are gorgeous. Just don't try telling me that it's somehow "better"! 

-- Sent from my Palm Pre

More Theatre Painting

Once again, life is getting in the way of the blog. I promise I will get back here soon & give y'all a real post!

Until then, you can see that we start them young in our household when it comes to big art projects!

-- Sent from my Palm Pre

Sunday, November 28, 2010

Friday, November 19, 2010

I'm Turning Into Scrooge, and I Think I Like It

Yeah, I know, some of you think that when I say "confessional" that I'm going to tell you all my dirty little secrets that run through my head. One, Husband would not be happy for sharing half of them. Two, the other half would probably land my ass in jail. So, that being said, I'm tackling my "Why I hate the Holiday season"  this week.

I confess:

  • Retail displays like this, that show up before Halloween even gets here, really piss me off.
  • I like being able to enjoy my holidays in the order they come in, thankyouverymuch!
  • I miss the days when the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade brought Santa out, and therefore, all the shopping madness that then follows.
  • I should not have to go into a store on October 20, and see all this shit. Seriously.
  • I should not go to the store on November 5th, to get all the platters for Thanksgiving and end up having to hunt down a clearance aisle in order to buy any of it.
  • Shit like this makes me want to boycott any holiday after Halloween.
  • I own my own business, and refuse to put up anything Christmas related until the day after Thanksgiving.
  • I have come to hate the whole retail side of these holidays, enough that our studio Christmas tree has been black with a skull topper on it for the past 3 years. This year will be no different.
  • I should not have to deal with other businesses cramming this down my throat 2 or 3 months in advance.
  • Christmas carols over a store's speaker system should not be allowed to play until Black Friday, if at all.
  • I also do not like the term "Black Friday". 
  • I hate the fact that since all of our money will put retailers in the "black", they decided to rub it in our faces how much money they will have, and we will no longer have.
  • I used to make fun of Husband for his hatred of this season.
  • I have now turned into just as big of Scrooge.
  • I blame all the retailers for taking away the excitement by trying to make us think of Christmas before the time change even happens.
  • I wholly believe that they move it up earlier, and earlier every year.
  • I believe that Santa should skip every single person who has brought about the 3 month holiday season.
  • I hate the fact that to get my point across of my hatred of this practice, I felt I had to put a picture up of all things Christmas BEFORE Thanksgiving is even here.

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Why I haven't been here

This is just one of the reasons I have been around as much the past week!

Spent 6 hours @ the theatre last night helping paint marquee signs and backdrops.

Scentsy is also rocking, with orders coming in daily. It looks like there's going to be a lot of people getting & giving good scents for the holidays.

Studio is staying steady, though I don't think it's ever as busy as any of us would want it to be. Ten again, we could tatto for 12 hrs straight, and it probably wouldn't be enough!

Things are looking up on the kid side of things. Hopefully it will all be in court and done soon!

I'll be posting a Confessional tomorrow. Hopefully after that, I'll be back in the blogging swing of things!

Friday, November 12, 2010

Changing Up The Friday Posts

I confess:
  • I sometimes wish my ex-husband would disappear from the face of the earth.
  • I know I should feel guilty about this, but I don't.
  • In fact, since I'm confessing, I dream of the day he moves to say, Russia or Iraq.
  • I'm really not a bad person.
  • If you had to deal with someone who felt that medicating a child into submission was acceptable, you'd understand completely.
  • He has pissed me off upset me so bad this time, I can't even talk to him for fear that I will not have the will power to be civil.
  • The Ex is probably going to find this, and try and use it against me. 
  • That's his style.
  • I don't think I really care anymore.
  • I sometimes wonder WTF I was ever thinking when I ended up with him.
  • I wonder why it took me over a year to see him for what he really was.
  • I could use the excuse I was smokin' crack, but I wasn't, and even if I joke about it, he will try and use it against me.
  • He forgets I know a lot of his dirty little secrets, though.
  • In his own words, "It will all come out in the wash". 
  • I have a premonition that day is coming soon for him.
  • Husband is going to see this, and tell me again to be careful what I write.
  • I feel that TEN YEARS after I left Ex, I should be able to speak my opinions.
  • But we all know what Ex is like, so I don't.
  • I am at a point, I secretly wish Ex would find this, in the hopes it would open his eyes a little.
  • I know even if he does, it won't make a shit to him.
  • It's hard to have your eyes opened, when you think you're better than everyone.

Snow?? Seriously?

This is what I woke up to this morning. 

Considering the fact that it was supposed to be thunderstorms, it wasn't what I was expecting.

Now, whoever messed up, and sent this white crap instead of rain, please fix the screw-up.

Take this crap back up to Colorado or Wyoming. Texas doesn't want it. We appreciate the thought of moisture, but it came in the wrong form.

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Hobby (Blog Gang)

As part of the Blog Gang, I'm given a topic every few weeks to write about. This time, the topic is "Hobby". I thought to myself, well, that will be easy. I can simply write about my hobby. How hard can that be? Oh, wait, I just realized that I don't think I really have a hobby. Ok, see, this is where things get tough.

I'm scatterbrained, and I really don't stick with most things long enough for them to be considered hobbies. I am easily bored, and if something new comes along that looks more interesting than what I'm in the middle of, I will try the new activity. This is not conducive to having a a hobby. Hell, there's days it's not conducive to having a job. But, we won't go there. This is supposed to be about HOBBIES, the exact OPPOSITE of a job.

This is the definition of hobby: An activity or interest pursued outside one's regular occupation and engaged in primarily for pleasure.

I create art for a living. That makes me a professional, not a hobbyist. So, check "art" and all related items off the "hobby" list.

I am addicted to wickless candles. But I sell them, so I guess that takes away any chance of adding them to that list, too.

I garden, but I always forget to water it, never get it planted on time, forget to harvest it, and that's only for about 3 months out of the year. So, this one is disqualified, as I think a hobby is supposed to be something you do year round to relax. (Not to mention REMEMBER to do!)

Oh, wait!! Reading!! I LOVE to read!! Then again, since I read so much, would that really be considered a hobby? And there are times I read that I really don't enjoy it. The book is stupid, and I'm too stubborn to put it down unfinished, or other crap like that. In all honesty, I think I treat reading more as an addiction. In my mind there is no such thing as too many books. Ok, reading is now off the list. Yes, I do it for pleasure in my off time, but seriously, I always see a "hobby" as actually DOING something. In that reading really DOING something?

Does picking on my Husband and children count? I enjoy that. Wait, I also work with Husband, so would that disqualify it as it's tied in with work? Hmmm...not sure on that one.

I cook, but not always because I want to, or because I enjoy it. There are days that cooking just isn't all that fun. I think that means it's off the list, too.

Can sex be a hobby? I enjoy it. That has to mean something, right? I do it in my off time. It relaxes me. Ok, ok....we won't go here. (But seriously, could you consider sex a hobby??)

And here I've been thinking for over a week that this one was going to be so damn easy. I'm serious y'all, I really can't think of anything that would technically be classified as a hobby, that I do on a regular enough basis. How effing effed up is that???

We'll pretend that I have so many hobbies that I just really don't know where to start. Hell, that may be true, and my brain worms just won't go away long enough for me to realize it. So, how about this - I'll make a list of things I really enjoy, and when I actually get off time, I do them:

~Ghost hunting
~Gardening - when I remember to water and harvest
~Reading - do this way too much, and Husband hates how my collection takes over the bedroom
~Watching TV
~Singing along to music while I'm driving
~Driving fast, especially on curvy roads. I'm 35 and still pretend I'm a Nascar driver at times.
~Spending time with Husband
~Spending time with Kids
~Blogging - even though I'm not that good, it relaxes me, and I enjoy it, even if y'all don't enjoy reading it.

There we go - Blogging. This is what I do in my "outside work" time. This is something I enjoy. It relaxes me. I'm not a professional blogger. I do it when I need to unwind, and vent. I do it on a regular basis (for the most part). I don't make very much money at it, if any at all (it depends on the day).

Sounds like I finally found my hobby. I blog. Yay Me!! :)

Now, get out of here, and go read everyone elses stuff. I'm sure it's much more entertaining, educational, and better written!!

This Is Not A Real Post

Sorry to let y'all down, but this blogger is suffering from too much shit to do and not enough time to do it. Which in turn is leading to half my shit not getting done, and total exhaustion.

Today, it's the blog that's not getting done. I put at least one thing off each day, decided it's the blog's turn at getting left out.

Hopefully tomorrow I can grace y'all with my full attention, and tell you my wonderful adventures in fifth grade lunchroom land.

No promises, though!

However, I can promise there WILL be a guaranteed real post on Thursday! That's Blog Gang day, and I get to try and figure out which part of my life I can qualify as a "Hobby". That could be fun. I don't think I have time for hobbies....

Anywho, I took two melatonin,and miracle of all miracles, I'm actually tired before 4 a.m. If it wears off, and I get back out of bed, I'll write a real post. But only IF I end up not sleeping.

Hey, you can't blame me, sleep is a coveted commodity around here!

Monday, November 8, 2010

It's Definitely Monday

How can I tell it's a fucking Monday? I'll just give you a list, in no particular order:

~My hair wouldn't do a damn thing, and therefore looks like shit. Decided ponytail was best/easiest solution.

~I have NO will or want to put make-up on (sorry Husband)

~The only clean pair of jeans I have are full of holes. They are actually quite comfortable, but don't exactly portray a "professional" look, even in a tattoo studio. (So, I said screw it, and put on a Guns N Roses T with them...might as well travel back in time full tilt, right?)

~Potential customers are pissing me off. Especially when their little "homeboy" wants to go on that his "boy's homeboy" could do the same tattoo for like $50. ( A whopping savings of $20 if you don't count the 90% chance they will end up in the doctor's office for the side effects.) So, I got pissed, and told him to leave, and please feel free to get the hepatitis, infection filled home made tattoo.

~Everyone I've tried to call concerning the Ladies Night Out Holiday Expo to confirm booths, etc, have not answered their phones. (Why the fuck do any of you even have cell phones? It's apparent no one knows how to use them!)

~Trying to get a mint condition vintage Owen Jensen tattoo machine and rheostat appraised for insurance purposes, and can not get a straight answer out of anyone. All anyone wants to tell me is that I have a museum quality piece. (Thanks, knew that already, but REALLY need someone to put a dollar amount on this please.)

~The insurance adjustor finally showed up last Thursday afternoon, but didn't leave the right paper work, so my car is still sitting in a fucking shop a week later, and all it needs is a radiator.

~Just discovered the stuffed animal that Oldest HAD TO HAVE to give to his GF for her birthday, and cost $27 is only 6 inches tall. Would probably never have agreed to let him order it if he had told me that pertinent detail.

~The girl who called to set up an appointment for a "cool tattoo" (her words, not mine) ended up wanting TWO INITIALS added to an existing tattoo. I think I speak for most tattoo ARTISTS when I say that we do not consider letters to be a "cool tattoo".

~I have discovered that I'm missing posts from some of my favorite bloggers, and I still have yet to figure out why.

Well, you can see why this is definitely a Monday, and it's only 4:15. I can't wait to see the joys the rest of the day brings! Husband has given me permission to just go home and go back to bed. I may take him up on it.

Sunday, November 7, 2010

Sometimes it pays to be the scary tattooed mommy

I normally let the kids deal with their own skirmishes when it comes to dealing with other kids.

Today, I broke that rule.

Youngest has had a kid picking on him for a couple of weeks. It's gone so far that the other kid has actually punched Youngest. Youngest didn't hit back as he thought he'd get in trouble. We explained that if you're defending yourself is not the same as starting a fight.

While we in no way promote that our children resort to violence, as most of you know, sometimes it has to be used to prevent further problems.

Anyway, now that I've done the whole backstory thing, lets get back to today.

Youngest comes in & tells me that this same bully has once again tried to start a fight with him on the way to the park. Youngest stood his ground - against 7 other boys, mind you. (Yes, I know, probably not something I'm supposed to admit being proud of, but I am.)

Anyway, one of the other boys grabbed a baseball bat, so my son grabbed his off his bike. (Probably not the smartest move, but he's tired of being bullied.) Don't worry, no actual blows were struck by either side.

Now, we're at the point that I get involved. It seems that one of the other boy's mother started yelling at my child (who is TEN), telling him he needed to leave or he was going to get his "ass beat down". (See, and y'all thought I was wrong for being proud of him for standing up for himself. How fucked up is it that this ADULT tells my kid that she's essentially gonna beat him??)

Anywho, he comes to me, tells me the story. At this point I've had it. I tell Youngest to get in the car & show me where this woman lives.

We get there, and all 7 of the little monsters are still in the front yard. As soon as I step out of the car, every single one of the start yelling, "It wasn't me, it was him" and pointing at each other. (Side note: windows are tinted, so they could not even see Youngest in the car."

I asked which was of them was Xxxx. His darling little friends ratted him out. I asked where he lived. He pointed a few blocks over. That led to the next question, who's mother came out of the house a few minutes ago. The biggest of the bunch (mind you, these kids are all 1 to 3 years older than Youngest), raises his hand. I ask where he lives. He shows me which house.

I went and knocked on the door, and asked the woman why she felt it was needed to yell at my child, and threaten him. She recognizes me, and starts apologizing, and telling me that she wasn't threatening him, she simply was trying to keep him from getting beat up. (For the record, I do not believe her, she did admit to saying what Youngest said she did. Mother of the year award right there, let me tell ya.)

At any rate, I get an apology out of her, and she apologizes to youngest. I then as her where Xxxx lives, and who his mother is. She tells me. The rest of the heathens also get told to come inside, and when I left where getting yelled at.

By this time, I've realized I know Xxxx's mother, so I stop by where she works, and explain that essentially her child is a bully, and that I have had it. I had tried to let the boys work it out on their own, but from this point forward, it will all be dealt with through the school police officers. So, she can basically either get her child under control, or I will turn it over to someone that can.

She's shaking, and admits to me that she was scared I was going to beat her ass.(Ok, now seriously.....what fucking sense does that make?? Yeah, let me come over and tell you that your son is a bully while I act just like him., don't think so.)

At any rate, I hear the mother of Xxxx telling the other clerk that her child has messed with the wrong kid, as he has the meanest, scariest mom in town. (I'm really not, I promise. However, if that is what you want to think, and it will get you to control your damn children, then all the better. Sometimes it pays to be the "scary tattooed mommy", I guess.)

As an end note: If the other mother EVER tells my kid he's going to get his "ass beat down" again, she may find out exactly what those three words mean. That is a promise..

And by the way, I do not look like this (yet):

Though to be honest, I think Betty Broadbent was a damn sexy woman, and I wouldn't mine looking like her at all!

I cheated

Yes, you read that right: I cheated.

On setting back the clocks that is.

I turned them back at 1:30 a.m.

Now I've got the doors locked & the windows shut tight.

That way the Daylight Savings Time police won't catch me for cheating.

This is the time change I actually love. I get an extra hours worth of sleep. (ok, not really - but I get to be proud of myself for waking up so early in the morning! And that HAS to count for something.)

Hell with it. You know what? I'm going to be daring - I'm going to crack a window. Just let them catch me setting the clocks back early!

Friday, November 5, 2010

Facebook Friend Friday

More status updates from my wonderful Facebook friends!

"fuck the stupid shit" I couldn't agree more. In fact, this may become my phrase for the next week!

"There is a level of "missing the point entirely" here that just keeps going on and on and on..." Hmmmm...we must know the same people. Either that, or they all came from the same gene pool. Scary, isn't it?

"Oh my Lord where do kids come up with things? Getting ready to brush M's hair after her bath & she says, " for $4 you can mom." I give her this look & she then says "don't give me the mad face just give me $4." I am gonna be in trouble with this girl!!!" So, you've trained a high maintenance woman already? Yay, you!!

"Trying to stay calm... But the crazy freak is back sending threatening messages and stirring up trouble... God help me..." I see you must have the same choices in men I've had in my past. It makes you wonder how in the hell any of us manage to find a decent man, with all these crazy fuckers running around!

"bout to crack a motherf**kers head open. I can't stand stupid people." I'm noticing a trend in all the statuses today. And I think I like it. In fact, I know I like it. I don't even have to put a status up today, all I have to do is hit "like" on all of yours.

I sleep in an icebox

Seriously, y'all, I really do sleep in an icebox.

I have no other way to describe the temperature Husband keeps the bedroom. Well, maybe I do. Y'all know how when some one says "When hell freezes over"? Yeah, well, our bedroom is colder than that.

I completely understand not being able to sleep in a hot, stuffy room. But really, Husband, do we have to be able to see our breath in the morning?

Let me give you an example, just so y'all will believe me when I say "freezing".

We were living in a two story house that had central heat. Our bedroom was upstairs, and while admit that yes, it did get warmer than the downstairs, it would have been easy to just turn down the heater, or shut the vents.

Hell no, Husband ran the effing AIR CONDITIONER in our bedroom window. Seriously. In the middle of efing December. When it was -10 degrees F outside. The air conditioner.

It gets worse.

One morning I woke up, and I swear to you, I could see my breath, and my nose couldn't even run cuz all the snot was frozen.

Why is that?

Because it had effing SNOWED during the night, (and was still snowing), and it was all coming in through the effing A/C. Seriously.

There was at least 6 inches of snow on the floor in front of the window. And it wasn't melting. Why? Because the damn A/C was ON. Not only on, but on HIGH.

THAT is what Husband considers acceptable sleeping temperature.

I, however, feel that if that was acceptable, I would be living in Alaska. I'm not. I live in Texas. Where it's relatively warm. I like it that way.

(Yes, dear, I know you're going to read this, and yes, I know you will use the excuse "But we cuddled a lot that winter." And you're right, we did - BECAUSE YOU HAD THE EFFING A/C ON IN THE MIDDLE OF WINTER!! It's ok, I still love you. You're just not allowed near the A/C this winter. Agreed?)

Thursday, November 4, 2010

I want someone to explain this to me, seriously.

Anyone who has read my first few posts, or looked at my profile knows that Husband and I make our living putting art on other people's bodies. (For those who can't figure that out: we are tattoo artists.)

However, just because we put art on human skin, to make our living does, not mean that we are not artists in the "normal" concept, too. Both of us paint on canvas and have started a new ceramic sugar skull project (which is going quite well, and selling nicely, thank you very much.) Husband airbrushes - canvas, cars, trucks, motorcycles, t-shirts, bowling pins, murals, cheerleader megaphones.....well you get the idea. I do folk art style painting on reclaimed wood - fish, houses, farms, etc.

We have both sold our art online and out of the studio to collectors all over the U.S. (Yes, really. While I may not ever achieve the level of Van Gogh or Picasso, hopefully I will never go batshit crazy, have numerous mistresses, or cut off my own ear either.)

Anyway, now that we've covered all of that, here is what is pissing me off:

We have an Art Center in Smalltown. They showcase local and area artists, and put on shows for them. At different times of the year, they do things like ask local artists to paint on certain objects, that they then auction off to support local causes. This is all fine and great, I know.

However, when you have a fucking studio IN YOUR TOWN that does nothing but produce art ALL DAY LONG, wouldn't it make sense to say, maybe approach these people on getting involved in some of your projects? Makes sense to me anyway.

Unfortunately, due to the fact the we must be some kind of scary looking, bad influence type people for daring to have art ON OUR BODIES, the Art Center doesn't seem to feel this way. The only thing they ever ask us for are $$ donations every year so that we can be "members" of their little association.

What does this $ get us, you may ask? It's quite simple, we get postcards every month telling us what artist they are showcasing at this time, and fliers offering art classes in things such as wood carving, or how to construct a sculpture out of packing peanuts. (Ok, the packing peanut thing may not be true, but it sounds like something they might do.)

It's amazing, I sell my art all over the U.S., as does Husband, yet due to the fact that we do something so fucking horrible as tattoos, we aren't considered "artists" who are capable of putting on a show at the local art place.

And when it comes time to do those special little auction-off-for-a-good-cause items? Yeah, we're not asked to do those either. In fact, they would rather ask the guys who paint cars at the body shop to do it.

How fucked up is that?

We've even approached them about it, and offered that they could auction off some of our paintings or other art to help fund the center, or for one of the causes, in exchange for letting us display our art up there for even a weekend. You would have thought we'd ask to shit on their doorsteps from the reactions we get. They have come up with so many excuses, I don't even have the time to type them all out.

That's ok, though. I'll continue to paint, as will Husband, and we'll continue to sell our stuff outside of Smalltown. And then, when we become millionaires, I'll tell the Art Center to kiss my ass when they want a sizable donation. Sounds good to me, anyway!

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Look, I did it!

Just something I painted in the past week.

Here's to hoping this means I'll start painting more again.

Fighting with my insurance company, Day 3.

Called and left messages with all the people who were stupid enough to answer their phones yesterday, when I called. They've figured out I'm not a nice person anymore, and now send me to voicemail.

No phone calls back.

Husband calls, gets live person, gets told that adjuster was at mechanic's today. Called mechanic, find out that adjuster must be invisible, as he has not been seen in shop today. Husband tells live person that there was no adjuster at mechanic's today. Live person has no response. Husband gets mad, tells live person that adjuster better be here today, or maybe live person needs to hire new adjuster that will actually do their job.

Decide that Progressive not only hires morons, they also hire liars, too.

The whole "Immediate Response Vehicle" thing that Progressive promises is really eating at me. Decide to Google it. This is directly from the Progressive website:

"Progressive uses Immediate Response® Vehicles (IRVs) — those white SUVs with the Progressive logo on the side — to give your car insurance claim a head start. Have not seen a single one of these since I reported the claim, so I don't see this as a head start. If your vehicle is involved in an accident, our claims representatives use IRVs to travel to repair shops, tow yards, your house — even the scene of an accident — to inspect your vehicle and write a damage estimate.Are you seriously going to effing tell me that you will go to the scene of the accident?? I can't even get you to go to the damn mechanic's shop. So, when you go to the scene of an accident, do you make them wait 3 days or more so that you can get pictures of all that has happened? If so, I really hope that no one was injured, as I'm sure they are quite dead by now.

IRV drivers are trained claims professionals who can resolve your claim efficiently. Bullshit. They discuss the accident with you, record all relevant information, take pictures of the scene, talk to witnesses and catalog damages to all vehicles. Again, bullshit. I have yet to be able to actually talk to anyone about this and give them details. Instead I am bounced all around, and I have had to leave voicemails all over the place, in hopes that someone will take pity on me and CALL ME BACK.  All this starts as soon as you report your claim.*cough* bullshit *cough*
Since 1994, Progressive IRVs have helped change car insurance. With one call to Progressive, you get fast, friendly claims service — wherever you are." Well, if ignoring your customers, taking a week to do an "immediate" response, pissing your customers off, and hiring liars to drive the IRVs were the changes you were after, you accomplished your goal. If this was not your goal, then I don't know what to tell you.

Decide that Progressive is not only hires morons and liars, they also falsely advertise their services.

Wish that the claim would hurry up and just get done, so that I can switch insurance companies. 

Realize all that I am not able to do without a car, and start getting pissed off all over again. I can't go to the grocery store, I can't make Scentsy deliveries, I can't drop fliers off for Ladies Night Out Holiday Expo to advertise, I can't run kids where they need to be. It is also getting quite cold here at night, so walking in the dark and the cold is really sucking.

Yes, I can hear you ask now, "You mean you and Husband only have one vehicle?"

The answer is no, we have 3 cars and 2 motorcycles. Car #1 is waiting on invisible adjuster. Car #2 I loaned to my niece who has a one year old baby and shouldn't be walking in the dark and the cold, and I can't bring myself to tell her that I need the car back. Car #3 is a project car for Husband and Boys, and is not legal to drive at this time. Motorcycle #1 does run, and is legal, but it's effing cold, and have you ever tried to fit FOUR people on a motorcycle? Motorcycle #2 is not tagged, as I do not have a motorcycle endorsement at this time.

Googled "Progressive Sucks" and found this on flickr:

At least now I know I'm not the only one with this opinion!

Are you f*cking serious?

Dear Auto Insurance Company,

You have had my business for 6 years. After today, I do not see us making it to our 7th anniversary.

You advertise Instant Response Vehicles. You lie.

Instant does NOT fucking equal 4-5 DAYS after I make a claim. I could see a few hours, maybe even a day. But 4-5? Are you fucking kidding me?

I have NO CAR TO DRIVE. Which part of this in our 15 phone calls do you not understand? And to tell me - well, just drive to the rental place and pick up a rental car MAKES NO FUCKING SENSE. If I could DRIVE there, why the hell would I even need a rental car??

Yes, I realize that I could just tell the shop to make the repairs, but then by the time you "instant response" adjustor got his ass down here, there would be nothing for him to adjust. And since I pay you such a nice lovely sum of money each month, I really can't afford to repair this on my own.


The Bitch You Have Pissed Off For The Last Time

P.S. - please tell that idiot supervisor that if I had a family member or friend to borrow a car from, I would have already done so. It's right up there with his suggestion to drive the 46 miles to the nearest car rental place. Maybe you should consider giving IQ tests to future employees, especially if you're going to give them the title of Supervisor. Just a thought.

P.P.S. - I'll make sure and tell my next insurance company to send you a thank you card for sending me their way!

(to everyone in Blog Land - yes, the car that is cursed has struck again. Or I should say that little Mr. Rabbit caused more problems than I could have imagined!)

Friday, October 29, 2010

Facebook Friends Fridays

Since my Facebook friends constantly scare amuse me with their status updates, I've decided they deserve a day  reserved just for them! (ok, I will probably also post other things on Fridays, too. In fact, since this Friday Thursday is also Blog Gang day, but I know that I will be late getting it out (hey, at least I know my faults dammit), y'all get to have two posts from me today. Don't you feel super excited and lucky as hell??

~"There's fur all over my house!!!!!!" Have you joined in on that weird craze and become a Furry? If so, please, do not EVER post details of what you do when you put that costume on. Really, I don't want ANY details... 

~"Ready to have a couple hours off this afternoon to finish up some laundry and workout. If my house is cold I'm starting a fire!" I truly believe you need to see a therapist. No one in their right mind would be happy to be able to do laundry! 

~"short work week for me....yea!!!" I don't like you right now. I haven't had a fucking day off in 7 days, and it will be another 5 before I can even consider the possibility. 

~"Happy Monday Friends! :) The Only Thing Keeping Me In A Good Mood This Monday Is I Only Have A 3 Day Work Week! Woot Woot! ♥" What the hell is it with you people?? Mondays are not HAPPY. They might be if I could just stay in bed all day, but since I can't, Mondays do not qualify for a "happy" anything in my book. Now, on to the main subject: How in the hell are TWO of my friends getting short work weeks? Y'all suck, just want you to know that. 

~"Bout got my leg stuck in a hooker boot earlier! Whew! That could've been bad! :)" So, uhmmm....was this YOUR hooker boot? Or did you try to put on a hooker's boot? I'm confused here. I thought most hookers left as many clothing items on as possible while doing the deed. Then again, as I have no experience beyond watching "Pretty Woman" and other movies with hookers, I could be totally wrong.
~"...haha! Hyper today! Was bustin a move in automotive today! Priceless though because here I was shakin my tailfeathers & I turn around & theres an 80someodd year old man breakin it down with me!! Gotta love 100.9 the Eagle!" I wish I could have seen this. Really, I do. You do not strike me as the type to do this, for one. And for another, would have loved to have seen ya getting down with an 80 some year old!

~"got a little giggle at sonic just now... but I better not be a mean person so I will keep it to myself..." No, no, no. You do not keep whatever it is to yourself. YOu share it with world so we can all have a little humor in our day, too. Not to mention that you have now officially become a tease. And that is just wrong. When it comes to gossip anyway. YOu want to tease the boys? Have at it! 

~"If the broom it" Soooo....are you a good witch, or a bad witch? Or are just a bitch and trying to make it sound nice? Either way, can I get a broom, too?  

~"Thank you, Facebook, for letting me reconnect with people whom never liked me in high school." I couldn't agree more, in fact I was just talking about this exact thing a few days ago. Why is it that all those who thought they were better than me in HS now want to pretend to be my best friend? I much prefer the company of friends I have now, who TRULY give a shit about me, thank you very much.

Halloween - Blog Gang

So, this week's Blog Gang topic is Halloween. I don't even know where to start with this one! Be forewarned that this could be a long post!

Halloween has been my favorite holiday for as long as I can remember. To me it's always been better than Christmas and all the other holidays combined! I mean, seriously, when else can you dress as crazy as you want and be considered normal? Not to mention that up until about the age of 12 to 14 you can dress up, act crazy and get CANDY.....what more can you ask for from a holiday? (We will not get into all the toilet paper, eggs, and shaving cream shenanigans I got up to around age 14. We'll just say that I was a normal teenager, and it was much more lenient times when it came to law enforcement officers!) And that's even before you get into the decorations, or carving pumpkins. Besides, the weather is almost perfect this time of year: not too cold, not too hot.

I've always loved dressing up, and seeing everyone else's costumes, too. I remember when I was younger my mother would try and make our costumes every year. To this day, I don't know what my favorite one was. Was it the year I was a witch and she hand beaded a spider on my cape? Was it the year I was a sorceress?

I try and do the same for my children, though there have been times that they wanted store bought costumes. That's ok, I've still instilled a love of the Halloween spirit into them. Each year, I give them Halloween baskets. I guess we can pretend they come from the Great Pumpkin. (They both also love Nightmare Before Christmas - how could any child of mine not? Come on, I even have Jack and Sally tattooed on me!) Oldest has been working a haunted house the past few nights, and tomorrow night Youngest will join him in the adventure as a child patient with a demented nurse in an insane asylum. I did not ask youngest to do this, we went through the haunt, and he wanted to know why he couldn't be in it. We did some asking, and lo and behold, his wish came true.

I still dress up for Halloween to this day, and try and come up with something new every year. This year, I'm going as a 50's pin-up girl, with a Day of the Dead face. I've been witches, vampires, living dead dolls, genies, zombies, and even a bride.

Now wait, before you think, "bride, who the hell would dress up as a bride for Halloween unless it's like a dead, bleeding zombie bride?", let me rephrase that a little. On Halloween, I was a bride. Or to be more exact, on the eve BEFORE Halloween (or in some circle's "Hell night"), I was a bride. That's right, it's almost Husband and I's anniversary!

We had actually wanted to get married on Halloween, but five years ago, Halloween had the bad luck of falling on a Monday, and everyone griped that getting married on a Monday wasn't right, and that they wouldn't be able to make it, blah, blah, blah. Soooo.....we got married on October 30, a Sunday. It's all good though. We still dressed up a little different - my dress was hot pink and black, he wore tails and a top hat with a black and red spiderweb shirt. Our boys stood up with us, one as a grim reaper, the other as Spiderman. My matron of honor was a gothic Raggedy Ann, and oldest daughter (bridesmaid) was a princess. Best man wore an outfit he had purchased in India ( I don't know what he was dressed AS...just know that was one kick ass suit!). .

We walked down the aisle to Uncle Kracker's "Follow Me", and walked out to "Highway to Hell". Our cake was based on the cake from Tim Burton's "Corpse Bride". I made it, and decided to be twisted. I dyed the cake black, and had raspberry filling in the layers, so it looked as if the cake was bleeding - oh, and we cut it with a meat cleaver. We also did our toast to each other with Jack Daniels, out of skeleton hand wine glasses. Oh, and before I forget - our invitations were coffin shaped, our  bubbles looked like vials of blood, and out guests also wore costumes! (What, you think I call myself the "Misfit Mommy" just for the hell of it? Nope, Husband and I tend to do things OUR way, everyone else be damned!)

In other words - I figured out how to make sure that Halloween would always continue to be special to me, no matter my age! Even when I'm in a rest home and wheelchair bound, and can no longer dress up, I still get to remember my wedding day. How awesome is that?  (Oh, and remember how I said that we had to switch to the day BEFORE Halloween for the wedding? Well, the person who officiated messed up and put October 31st as our date of marriage. I keep trying to convince Husband that means we have TWO anniversaries, but he hasn't gone for it....)

Since I could go on FOREVER about Halloween and why I love it, and all of you would end up getting extremely bored, and decide to never, ever read my blog again, I'm going to leave off with this:

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY HUSBAND!! It's been a great five years of marriage, and here's to many, many more years together! Thank you for putting up with my crazy ass, the fact that I can't sleep half the time, the fact that my unorganized butt drives your extremely organized self to the point of insanity, and so many more things that I know drive you nuts! :) Love you!

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

I really need to get back in the swing of things

At this time last year, I was selling my art online. I sold at least one painting a week to people all across the United States. I no sooner had one painted, and it was already being sold.

I didn't intentionally put down my paintbrushes. I simply decided one day that I was taking a vacation from it for a week or two. My week or two has now turned into 9 months.

9 months is enough time for the human body to produce a living, breathing being. Yet I haven't been able to produce on painting?

I still do tattoos, so it's not like I walked away from art. I really have no excuses for not doing at least one painting a week.

I'm suffering from ome major guilt here. I put something off that I truly enjoyed. And I really have no excuse for it.

I came across pictures the other day of some of my paintings. That made my guilt even worse. Now I really want to start painting them again. The only question in my head: Am I REALLY wanting to start painting them because I'm still going to ENJOY it, or am I doing it because I've guilted myself into it?

There's only one way to find out. Paint one picture.

If it leads to another, then I know I'm doing it for enjoyment.

I'm really hoping for more than one painting. I miss the relaxation and fun I used to get from them. I miss getting the feedback from buyers on how much they are enjoying having them.

Maybe I just answered my owner fears. If I'm missing all of that, then maybe it's not guilt after all. Maybe it's missing that little window in time that was all mine. The moments where I could create my own little  piece of the world.

I guess we'll find out tomorrow when I pick up the paintbrush and put it back on the wood. (Yes, wood. I paint folk style art on reclaimed pieces of wood. And they sell. Go figure.)

Monday, October 25, 2010

I think my car is the reincarnation of Christine...

Either my car is a newer version of Christine, (if you don't know who Christine is, you are missing out on a great book and movie..) or it is cursed.

I'm voting for option one. I have decided that my car has come to like blood and sacrifice.

I've had it for 2 years. In that time, it has accepted a deer, a pheasant, part of a deer that the pick-up in front of me hit, and as of last night, a rabbit as sacrifices to stave off the blood craving.

That is an animal every SIX MONTHS. Seriously, do you know of any OTHER car that has done this?

And, before all of you think that maybe I'm just a bad driver, let me let you in on a little secret. I wasn't driving all four times. I was only driving it for the part of a deer and the rabbit. Therefore, it HAS to be the car.

I sent my friend a text last night to let her know that my car had claimed yet another victim, and therefore convincing me once and for all that a curse has been laid on it. She instead, let me know that it may not be cursed, and maybe is just the new Christine.

Ok, dear friend, that didn't help me. I could handle a cursed car. I could take a cursed car to a witch doctor and have him remove all the curses. However, if my car has developed Christine like traits, I'm screwed. I don't think that there is a cure for homicidal maniacs.

Friend then decided that maybe the rabbit had gotten tired of living it's little rabbit life, and was simply committing suicide. I'm not going for that theory, I still think the car just likes it's blood and sacrifices every six months, and this time took the life of a cute, furry innocent.

After I inspected the car for damages, and got back on the road, I became even more convinced that the car is evil. In the next eight miles of roadway, I counted 32 more rabbits. They were hopping up to the side of the road, but were just sitting there staring at my car as I drove past. I'm convinced they were either all plotting against me to get revenge for killing their friend, or that the car was calling out to them as the blood from one little rabbit wasn't enough to cure it's craving this time around.

My friend tried to console me, and told me that no, they were simply paying respects to their dear departed friend who jumped in front of my car and took it's own life. She even concocted a story about how they had all just found the suicide note.

I'm still not convinced. I am getting to the point I think I need to be scared of my car. And thanks to friend pointing out the Christine aspects, now I get to worry that next time I get in the car, the doors will lock, the radio will only play songs from the 1950s, and I will choke to death on what I am eating.

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Why do I do this to myself??

I have a problem.

That's the first step, right? Admitting it. Well, there, I admitted it.

I have a tendency to over-commit myself. Then I wonder why I can't get organized, and everything is in eternal chaos.

Husband and I run our own business, I sell for 2 direct sales companies. I have downlines in the 2 companies that I have to help and watch over. I also have kids and a house to take care of.

Due to the business & being a consultant, the house always gets put off. I have a mountain of laundry to do, my den is full of about 10 boxes of stuff i need to go through.

We recently redecorated the living room, and all the crap that we didnt bring back in is still temporarily living in the kitchen.

I need a magic cleaning fairy. Or at least a cheap maid.

Since both are no where to be found, then I request more hours be added into my day so I can stop feeling like a failure when it comes to housekeeping duties.

It might help if i wasn't such a pack rat. Just ask Husband, this is something i KNOW he will agree with me on. While I'm not bad enough to be on "Hoarders", I do have a problem throwing or giving things away.

Wow, will you look at that, I admitted to having TWO problems. That's a record, i know it is!

Can i have the cleaning fairy and her best friend, the organize-everything-in-your-life fairy as my prize? Please? Pretty please? With sugar on top?

No? Well, dammit, do i at least get a gold star, then?

Friday, October 22, 2010

I'll take it as a compliment

Youngest told me tonight, "You're the weirdest person I know, Mommy."

I've achieved my goal. Even my kids think I'm weird.

Why did he say this, you may ask? Because Mommy is scared of spiders. Especially the one that was in my bed. Double especially the black widow that was on a bottle of paint not 4 inches from Husband's hand.

That is not the part Youngest found weird. After the black widow incident, Youngest discovered I have a spider on my neck. Granted, it's black & white crystals, and is a necklace.

Therefore, is totally different than a living moving thing.

However, in 10 yr old land, this makes me weird.

Maybe he's right.

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Thanks Facebook friends! part 2

Yet more random posts from my friends on Facebook...

~"lets not do that again, haha" First, tell me what the hell you did, then I'll tell you whether we should do it again. If it's illegal - probably not. If it's fun - most definitely. If it's illegal and fun - we'll do it, and say we didn't.

~"The voices in my head are having conversations with my imaginary friends and I can't get a word in edgewise!" This happens to you, too? I call it brain worms, but imaginary friends will do in a pinch! Sometimes it's best just to let them have their say. Then when they go to sleep, start yelling at them. It can be quite entertaining!

~"I'm gonna start stabbing random people in the throat"  Instead of random, can I make a few suggestions??

~"have multiple personalities, and not a damn one of them like you... You should run. Like now." It's ok, my multiple personalities can kick your multiple personalities butts! Or, knowing my luck, they would get along with yours, and end up plotting to destroy the world, therefore landing both our butts in jail. But at least we'd have fun!

~"wow my fingers are SOO numb this morning....hope it wears off soon i'm having a hard time" And just what the hell were you doing with your fingers for them to be numb?? Nevermind, I probably don't want to know....wait, I thought you had a husband to take care of that for you? Leaving this alone now......

~"Thank God its "Fist pumping time today" felt like it wouldnt ever get"OH Yea Jersey shore Time YEa!!" Whoa, wait a minute, Jersey Shore? You mean people actually watch that crap? Seriously? WHY??

~"My weekend started 2 hrs ago and I'm already in my sweats and lounging on the couch! ♥" Ok, you suck. Even my weekends aren't weekends. In fact, I just realized I don't get a single day off this week. You double suck.


Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Thanks Facebook friends!!

Here are some totally random FB statuses from people on my friend's list. Some kinda scare me a 'lil.

~ "Today is one of those days where I'm getting angry enough to punch a baby... next stupid person is getting told to go fornicate with a landmine."   Ok, see, now I can totally relate to fornicate with a landmine, but the fact you are considering punching babies, well, that kind scares me a lil.....

~"Life is like a roll of toilet paper, we never know how much we've wasted til we get to the end. Let's just hope that when we look back, we didn't waste it all on shit!!!" you'd rather the people and/or events in your life be compared to snot or urine, sorry, not sounding much better than shit in my book. Just saying

.~"There is one fly in the house that must be a super hero among flies because he hasn't died in the 2 hours that he's been buzzing me and I know my fly spray has sprayed at least 4 times. (No the can is not empty, I can smell it when it sprays.)"  Ok, so you've either encountered a mutant fly that will kill you in your sleep, or you are smelling fumes still left in the can. Either way, this is probably a danger to yourself. Get out of the house now!

~"Woohoo they let me off probation 2day"  Thankfully, I read the comments under this status, or I would have been worried I had a serial killer on my friend's list. That sure as hell would not have helped my insomnia. I would have been afraid I was next on your list.

~"wtf is going on?"  Don't feel bad, this is what I'm usually asking about my life, too. I really don't know what you were referring to, but life in general works for me!

~"I didn't get to the bathroom in time and I pooped my pants!"  Uhmmm....ok. Too much information. Yes, I see that you blame it on a friend getting a hold of your phone. And you know what? I think I'll just leave it at that, cuz this has the possibility to get nasty really, really fast....

~"Idk whos been shrinking my jeans but its starting 2 piss me off"  Yeah, the magic jean shrinking fairy has been visiting my house lately, too. I say we kill the bitch. Anyone else in?

~"Just a bit of advice- "Wat up ho" is NOT a good way to start a text conversation with me"  Totally have to agree with this one. In fact, I would probably be in jail right now, as I would have hunted the offender down and taught them how to speak to a woman with respect. 

(Yes, I know some of you who posted these things read my blog...but if you didn't want them posted on the internet at the crazy lady's blog, you should have put them up for the world to see in the first damn place!! LOL)

Ok, seriously, the punching babies thing is still bothering me. There is no way in hell I could ever get that mad. Mad enough to (want to) punch Ex in the face? Most definitely. Mad enough to punch tech support people who live in India and get mad at me when I can't understand them? Again, definitely worth punching.

MAX Factor - where are you??

I can remember years ago hearing about women who would go to the ends of the earth in order to find a certain lipstick that had been discontinued by the manufacturer. I'll be honest, I made fun of these women, thinking that there was no way in hell that there was only ONE shade/brand of lipstick that would work.

Then MAX Factor pulled out the U.S. market. Ok, to be fair, Covergirl bought them out, and in order to "concentrate better on the Covergirl line" made the decision to pull all MAX Factor products from the shelves.

I have now become one of those women I made fun of.

Since MF was still supposed to be available in European countries, I wasn't too concerned. I figured I could hop on the the internet, and find what I was looking for.

I was wrong.

Turns out that Covergirl not only decided that we in the States no longer needed MF products, they also decided to do away with over half the product line.

So, I decided to search by the name and number of the lipstick I wanted.

I found 2 on e-bay. Yeah, I know, e-bay is not where I normally buy make-up either, but I was desperate. I bid on the 2 I found.

Since I wasn't sure if I would actually win them, I kept searching.

Found two more at an online store. It was if I'd hit the lottery. Husband probably thought I was nuts, as I think I yelled when I found them. I ordered them, before someone else could get their hands on them.

I got notification today that I also won the two on e-bay. Total score!

I now have four tubes of MF Lipfinity 3D #630 Chartreuse coming in!! YAY!!

Now, I get to decide whether I'm going to hoard them, and only use them on special occasions, or if I'm going to wear them daily. I already know that I will wear them daily, but figure I can call the fact that I will actually be able to wear make-up daily a special occasion.

I don't even want to think about the apocalyptic meltdown that will happen at my house when these four are gone.

I can only hope that Covergirl will pull their head out of their asses and realize that many, many American women grew up using MF products, and will not replace them with CG products.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Today, y'all can be the writer

To be blunt, y'all can pretend I wrote something totally fucking fantastic today.

I feel like crap. Virus that I thought I'd beat came back with a vengeance. I can't breathe, my throat hurts, and I have a headache.

None of these above referenced symptoms are conducive to blogging. Especially when I'm trying to keep myself medicated. Which is leading to brain fog. Therefore, no smart-ass remarks, or humor is to be found here at the moment. Well, ok, maybe there is, but it most likely wouldn't make a damn bit of sense to anyone but myself.

Check back tomorrow, I'll try and be back in the swing of things. That is, if I'm still alive....

Monday, October 18, 2010

Where's the motivation?

I know I'm going to sound like an "old" person when I write this. And you know what? I really don't care! If you've had any dealings with teenagers in your home or your life, you'll understand where I'm coming from! So, here it goes:

What the hell is wrong with kids today? Oldest still doesn't have a driver's license, or a job. Neither do 99.9% of his friends. They are all 17 & 18, so it's not like they aren't of age to acquire these things.

They go to school, get out of school, go riding around with the ONE person who has a license and a vehicle.

They make a quick stop by each teen's house to do chores, check in with parents, etc.

Their next action? They go to one of the houses and play video games. And, at least in our home, raid the fridge and cabinets, and eat enough for four times as many people. Now, don't get me wrong, I don't mind the kids being here. And trust me when I say that if given the choice to work or stay home and play, I would probably choose the latter of the two.

The part I really don't get is WHY THE HELL DON'T THESE KIDS WANT TO DRIVE?

I can remember back in the day, we all could not wait for that driver's license! In Kansas where I grew up, we could get a restricted license at 14. You can bet your ass I was studying that nook starting at about 12 1/2. The DAY I turned 14, I was down taking the test to get my restrcited license.

While it didn't mean TOTAL freedom, it meant I could drive to and from school, and drive for work. If I remember right, as long as we were running errands for our parents (to the store, etc) we could also drive then, too. Now being normal kids, we stretched the rules, and rode around a few minutes before school, or after.

The day we turned 16, we were CRUISING! Up and down main street, to our friend's house, to the next town - in fact, any damn where  we could go & not get our ass beat when we got home.

I have to ask myself - have all of us failed as parents that our children aren't motivated to drive? Motivated to get a job so they have money in their pockets? If so, how the hell do we fix it?

Both  Husband and I worked and drove as soon as we could. We enjoyed the freedom, enjoyed that step toward adulthood. Is that the problem? Do kids today look at all of us and instead of saying, "hey, I want to be able to run my own life", they are now thinking, "i want to be like Peter Pan and never grow up and have responsibilities!"??

While my dog will survive, I may not!!

Ok, y'all. This sucks.

The ONE night I'm actually tired, and wouldn't you know it, my dog has decided to go neurotic on me. Ok, she's in labor. So being neurotic is TOTALLY allowed.

Couldn't she have picked daylight hours fpr thism though? I mean seriously, you'd think she would have the courtesy to do that. (This coming from the woman who went into labor in the middle of the night with all three of my offspring.)

I know, y'all are thinking: Just go to bed, already! She's a dog, she knows what to do.

You're probably right. But she's looking at me with those big brown eyes, and tries to follow me of I leave, so I'm kind of obligated to stay with her. That's what you do for members of your family, right?

She is seriously about ready to drive me batshit crazy thoug, y'all. She's pacing, panting, whining, laying down, digging, pacing, in & out of the doghouse, pacing, laying down, passing the mucous plug (sorry if that disgusts ya, but hey, it's what happens!), pacing, layong down, having contactions, pacing, panting, following me, repeat all the above.

Oh, and she has now decided at the last minute her padded, warm, blanket lined doghouse may not be the place she wants to be. She now thinks digging a trench along side the house would be so much better.

While she will survive labor and delivery just fine, I may end up in a mental hospital just from having to deal with all of it!

Oh, and did I mention she's either pregnant by my chihuahua? She's a chow-chow,  by the way. We tried to keep them separated, but there was that ONE time...shit.

Or daddy could be the heeler mix that jumped the fence, had his way with her, then tried to eat my chihuahua. Just what I need, offspring from a serial killer dog.

I'm rooting for the chihuahua.

I'm also rooting for spaying as soonas possible.

A Valium would be good about now, too. No, not for my dog silly - for me!

Sunday, October 17, 2010

How not to write a blog.

Spend two days writing blog post in head. Jot down notes in notebook kept specifically for this.

Finally find time to sit down & actually type out post.

Log In. Decide to check stats. Wow! 399 page views in two days!!. HAS to be a bunch of comments.

Check comments. There is ONE. 399 page views and I get ONE COMMENT? Decide comments don't really matter that much, at least someone is actually reading what I write.

Realize that though people may be reading & not commenting, neither are they clicking on ads. Again decide, doesn't matter, I had 399 views in two days.

Back to Dashboard. Tell myself to click on "new post".

Realize I have 4 blog updates I haven't read. Go read them. Click to NEW blogs I hadn't previously discoverd.

Follow 7 of 19 new blogs. Realize I've now spent 2 hours reading everyone else's posts.

Reality sets in - I set aside 45 minutes to write in my blog. Spent 2 hours inside everyone else's blogs. Went over allotted time by 1 hour and 15 minutes.

No longer have time to type out what I've spent two days preparing for.

Pencil in 30 minutes tomorrow to wrote blog. Know damn good and well I NEED to do this. Also know that there is a 95% chance I will repeat today's scenario.

Know that only time I ever actually really post is at 3 a.m. When Mr. Sandman has once again skipped me.

Hope I can actually sleep tonight. Realize blog won't get written if I sleep.

Realize I can't win either way, and decide to post how I can't even manage to sit & write a real post.....

Friday, October 15, 2010

Husband thinks I left this out in last post....

**Adult content warning!!**

Ok, Husband read the Happiness post, and he is extremely upset that I did not take HIS suggestion for happiness.

What was his idea for my Happiness post, you may ask? Blowjobs....

Now, explain to me, a WOMAM, how I am supposed to include BJs into MY idea of happiness

I do NOT have the parts to even receive one of these, let alone know whether I can relate it to happiness.

Apparently, however, men relate BJs to happiness.

Now we all know.

Bet you're happy to have this knowledge, aren't you?

Thursday, October 14, 2010


Happiness....what exactly does this word mean? I could ask 100 people, and get 100 different answers.

Instead of doing a "happiness in general" post, I'm going to concentrate on what happiness means to me. (Even to me, it means different things on different days!)

I don't place my happiness on things other people might. Instead, I find it in the simple things in life. The IMPORTANT things in life. I don't need a new car, a huge bank account, or popularity.

I simply look at everyday things, and find my true happiness in them!

So, in a totally different approach, here's a list of things that bring ME joy and happiness:

(totally random order, so please, don't read anything into what spot you may be in!)

~ an unexpected hug from one of my children

 ~ sitting on the couch, relaxing & holding hands with Husband

~ a penny I find that's heads up on the ground

~ a butterfly flying by long after they are supposed to be gone for the fall/winter

~ accomplishing a goal I've set for myself

~ random acts of kindness (big or small) done for complete strangers

~ finding a pair of jeans that fit perfectly

~ the love of a family

~ an "inside joke" only my true friends would ever understand

~ freshly washed sheets

~ being able to act like a child & be carefree if only for an hour or two

~ the way Husband still looks at me like he did the day we first met

~ celebrating everyday events (I did the laundry? That's means for a celebration!)

~ finding out I have followers on my blog
      ~bonus happiness: when my followers actually read my blog and leave comments!

~ looking at a piece of art I've created and thinking I accomplished what I was after

There's many, many more things that bring me happiness, but there is not enough room on this page to even begin to list them all!

I know a lot of the other bloggers are probably going to find deep meanings to happiness, and there is nothing wrong with that. We are each different and unique, and that's what makes the blog world a fantastic place!

Sunday, October 10, 2010

I can't make decisions!!

I'm the world's worst at decision making. Don't believe me? Here's how a typical morning goes for me:

Crawl out of bed, tell myself, "Jump in the shower, it will only take a few minutes". Instead, I sit down for just a *few* minutes to catch up with e-mails, watch a little TV, check my facebook, check my blog, maybe grab something to eat.

Before I know it, it's an hour later, and I still haven't taken a shower. Finally force myself to take 10 minutes out of my day, and get in the shower.

Get out of the shower, brush my hair, go to the closet.

Here's where the fun really starts.

Grab underwear & a bra - that's the easy part.

Grab a pair of jeans, decide those will be the ones I wear. Look at them again, and decide no, they are too long/tight/faded/short/insert excuse here. Find another pair of jeans, go through same process. Repeat 2 or 3 times. Finally end up putting on first pair.

Start looking through my shirts. Pick one. Put it back - I would have to wear make-up with that one. Pick another - Nope, need to actually do my hair to wear this one. Decide I'll wear a baseball cap for the day. Grab another shirt - nope, definitely won't go with baseball cap, needs hair & make-up done to wear it. Baseball cap idea nixed. Grab another shirt. Nope, remember I don't like the way it makes my arms look. Close eyes, grab shirt at random - it would probably look better if I did hair & make-up while wearing this one. Start to reach for old, over-sized comfy T. Remember Husband is not a fan of that look. Remember that honestly, neither am I. End up grabbing a smaller T-shirt, decision finally made.

Promise  myself I WILL put on make-up. Grab make-up bag, stick in purse.

Promise myself I will NOT pull hair back into ponytail. Grab hair tie *just in case*.

Slip flip-flops  on. Who has time to actually bend down and tie shoes?

Grab keys, and purse. Head to work.

Get there, get distracted, forget rule on not putting hair up in ponytail/sloppy bun.

Get busy, realize at end of day - I never put make-up on.

Get home, feel like a failure. Didn't leave hair down, didn't put make-up on, still don't like jeans, and somehow in the day I ended up with ink or food on shirt.

Say, "Screw this". Throw on baggy pj pants & over sized T.

Watch TV, can't sleep.

Know that I will go throug all the above again in the morning.