Here are some totally random FB statuses from people on my friend's list. Some kinda scare me a 'lil.
~ "Today is one of those days where I'm getting angry enough to punch a baby... next stupid person is getting told to go fornicate with a landmine." Ok, see, now I can totally relate to fornicate with a landmine, but the fact you are considering punching babies, well, that kind scares me a lil.....
~"Life is like a roll of toilet paper, we never know how much we've wasted til we get to the end. Let's just hope that when we look back, we didn't waste it all on shit!!!" Uhmm...so you'd rather the people and/or events in your life be compared to snot or urine, sorry, not sounding much better than shit in my book. Just saying
.~"There is one fly in the house that must be a super hero among flies because he hasn't died in the 2 hours that he's been buzzing me and I know my fly spray has sprayed at least 4 times. (No the can is not empty, I can smell it when it sprays.)" Ok, so you've either encountered a mutant fly that will kill you in your sleep, or you are smelling fumes still left in the can. Either way, this is probably a danger to yourself. Get out of the house now!
~"Woohoo they let me off probation 2day" Thankfully, I read the comments under this status, or I would have been worried I had a serial killer on my friend's list. That sure as hell would not have helped my insomnia. I would have been afraid I was next on your list.
~"wtf is going on?" Don't feel bad, this is what I'm usually asking about my life, too. I really don't know what you were referring to, but life in general works for me!
~"I didn't get to the bathroom in time and I pooped my pants!" Uhmmm....ok. Too much information. Yes, I see that you blame it on a friend getting a hold of your phone. And you know what? I think I'll just leave it at that, cuz this has the possibility to get nasty really, really fast....
~"Idk whos been shrinking my jeans but its starting 2 piss me off" Yeah, the magic jean shrinking fairy has been visiting my house lately, too. I say we kill the bitch. Anyone else in?
~"Just a bit of advice- "Wat up ho" is NOT a good way to start a text conversation with me" Totally have to agree with this one. In fact, I would probably be in jail right now, as I would have hunted the offender down and taught them how to speak to a woman with respect.
(Yes, I know some of you who posted these things read my blog...but if you didn't want them posted on the internet at the crazy lady's blog, you should have put them up for the world to see in the first damn place!! LOL)
Ok, seriously, the punching babies thing is still bothering me. There is no way in hell I could ever get that mad. Mad enough to (want to) punch Ex in the face? Most definitely. Mad enough to punch tech support people who live in India and get mad at me when I can't understand them? Again, definitely worth punching.