Monday, October 25, 2010

I think my car is the reincarnation of Christine...

Either my car is a newer version of Christine, (if you don't know who Christine is, you are missing out on a great book and movie..) or it is cursed.

I'm voting for option one. I have decided that my car has come to like blood and sacrifice.

I've had it for 2 years. In that time, it has accepted a deer, a pheasant, part of a deer that the pick-up in front of me hit, and as of last night, a rabbit as sacrifices to stave off the blood craving.

That is an animal every SIX MONTHS. Seriously, do you know of any OTHER car that has done this?

And, before all of you think that maybe I'm just a bad driver, let me let you in on a little secret. I wasn't driving all four times. I was only driving it for the part of a deer and the rabbit. Therefore, it HAS to be the car.

I sent my friend a text last night to let her know that my car had claimed yet another victim, and therefore convincing me once and for all that a curse has been laid on it. She instead, let me know that it may not be cursed, and maybe is just the new Christine.

Ok, dear friend, that didn't help me. I could handle a cursed car. I could take a cursed car to a witch doctor and have him remove all the curses. However, if my car has developed Christine like traits, I'm screwed. I don't think that there is a cure for homicidal maniacs.

Friend then decided that maybe the rabbit had gotten tired of living it's little rabbit life, and was simply committing suicide. I'm not going for that theory, I still think the car just likes it's blood and sacrifices every six months, and this time took the life of a cute, furry innocent.

After I inspected the car for damages, and got back on the road, I became even more convinced that the car is evil. In the next eight miles of roadway, I counted 32 more rabbits. They were hopping up to the side of the road, but were just sitting there staring at my car as I drove past. I'm convinced they were either all plotting against me to get revenge for killing their friend, or that the car was calling out to them as the blood from one little rabbit wasn't enough to cure it's craving this time around.

My friend tried to console me, and told me that no, they were simply paying respects to their dear departed friend who jumped in front of my car and took it's own life. She even concocted a story about how they had all just found the suicide note.

I'm still not convinced. I am getting to the point I think I need to be scared of my car. And thanks to friend pointing out the Christine aspects, now I get to worry that next time I get in the car, the doors will lock, the radio will only play songs from the 1950s, and I will choke to death on what I am eating.


  1. havin a christine car wouldnt be bad you could splatter someone and blame the car!!

  2. You're from Texas, right? It's totally normal to produce roadkill at least 2-3 times a year in Texas. We've got lots of suicidal animals here!

    Following you now 'cause I'm loving your blog!

  3. Opto-Mom - Yes,I'm from Texas. Or at least I migrated here almost 12 years ago. The locals would tell you that technically I'm not from Texas. However, I've got the twang down, and I say "y'all" a lot, so I think that counts for something.

    Anonymous - I don't know if I should be scared of you or find humor in the way you think.....