Totally Random Crap

I really should be writing an end of the year post - and maybe I will tomorrow. But to be honest, I doubt it. It's more likely that I'll get sidetracked and not do it. (Hey, at least I'm honest!) Anyway, here's just a bunch of random little things that will most likely in no way relate to one another!

- I change my haircolor more often than most people change their underwear. I'm sure a psychologist would have a heyday with this, and give me all sorts of mumbo jumbo about how if I change my look I feel I can change my life or some such. Not true. I just get bored easy. (Maybe I could do a post for "2010 in My Hair Review"??)

- I have no problem with hundreds of strangers reading my blog, but for some reason I get nervous when Husband reads it. Maybe it is some deep seated psych thing where I don't think it will be good enough for him. Or that he'll find out how seriously fucked up I am. Who knows...

- I hate looking in the mirror. There's always a new wrinkle, or a stray hair somewhere it shouldn't be. In my head, I'm still stuck around the age of 25, but the mirror tells me that my head is wrong. Way wrong.

- I miss my Dad & Mom. A LOT. Talking on the phone is not the same  as face to face. I hate having to come home when I go visit, and I hate them leaving when they come to visit. Funny, 20 years ago, I couldn't wait to be out in the world. Now I just want spend every second with them.

- I'm a hypocrite. I expect my kids to keep their bedrooms clean. Yet my bedroom is a mess. F5 tornadoes probably leave behind less of a mess than what is in my bedroom. Husband hates it. He's a neat freak. Truth be known, I hate it, too. I just can not get up the energy to clean it. I know once I do, then i'll want to rearrange it. I don't have time for it. Seriously.

- I have a hard time trusting women. I have more male friends than women friends. It probably has something to do with all the bitches that stabbed me in the back in High School. You know, the ones that 20 years later find you on facebook & pretend y'all were best friends. Women - you know what I'm talking about. Men - trust me, women don't change. 90% of them are still the exact same fake bitches they were when you were 16. (maybe not to you - but, ask your wife or gf, I'm sure they'll know what I'm talking about)

- I have endometriosis. It's a bitch. It hurts. It fucks with your body and your mind. Don't know what it is? It's when the shit that lines your uterus grows outside it. This shit implants in the abdominal cavity. On the intestines. Hell, it's been found as far up as the lungs and brain. It totally fucks with your hormones. (read: PMS on steroids) There is no cure. Some doctors will tell you to get a hysterectomy, but if asked, they will tell you it's only a treatment. A treatment that lasts 5 years on average. They want to gut me like a fish, take away all that makes me a woman for a "treatment" that lasts FIVE FUCKING YEARS. Thanks, but no thanks.

- I'm pissed at myself right now. I just realized I forgot to buy the 3rd and final Stieg Larsson book. This means I'm stuck rereading an old book or finding something on freebooks for my Pre. (i can't bring myself to buy a digital book. If I'm going to spend money on a book, I want to be able to feel the paper & turn the pages.)

Enough random stuff for now. In case I don't do a year end post - here's to an exciting and happy New Year to all of you!

Favorite Picture of 2010

It's the end of the year, so I decided to go through my phone, and clean out some of the junk I have stored in here.

Instead, I found a bunch of pictures I'd forgotten I even had.

Like the one posted above.

It seems fitting that first picture I share of me, also includes Husband. 

Most would agree that though we don't look like this but once a year, this picture fits us.

It shows that we can have fun.

It shows that we don't care about looking perfect all the time.

It shows that we enjoy each other, even though we can both go to extremes.

It also happens to be Halloween (my favorite holiday!), and our anniversary! (ok, so it was the 30th, which IS our anniversary, but not REALLY Halloween. Close enough!)

So, dear readers, I pronounce this my favorite pic of 2010.

Ever Want To See How Old You Really Are?

You do? Really?? Then read on....

I found out just how old I am getting a few nights ago.

Husband and I went to the bar with a few friends, to wind down and, well, to be honest, make sure everyone got home ok! (Yes, I know, that right there probably shows I'm getting older, too. Don't remind me!)

On the other side of the bar were a few guys playing pool. My initial reaction to one of them went something like this:

"Oh hell, not another young, cocky asshole. I hate even being in the same room with people like HIM. Please, don't let him ass up and try and start a fight with someone in here."

I then went on about what I was doing - talking w/friends, drinking, smoking (yes, bad habit, I know), and generally enjoying our night out.

Then I caught sight of the young man again. What ran through my mind:

"Why do guys like that seem to think they're all that? I mean, seriously, yes, it's obvious that's he's been in military. That should mean I should respect him. But, really, how can I respect someone who acts like they are God's gift to women? Oh, and look, how cute! The waitress is falling for his crap! She'll learn soon enough!"

I went back to my friends and Husband, tried to control Drunk Friend.

Drunk Friend wouldn't listen.

Wanted to touch everyone in bar.

Especially all the women. I wonder to myself what will happen when she does that to wrong woman, and gets more than she expected.

Talking.

Drinking.

Telling Drunk Friend to behave, and leave that poor woman's hair alone.

Drinking.

Laughing.

Watch Husband play pool.

Watch Husband beat the guy he's playing 3 times in a row.

Watch guy he's playing decide to leave bar.

Tell Drunk Friend to sit down and behave.

Talking.

Play some music.

See a friend, talk to her for awhile.

Drinking.

Tell Drunk Friend that really, I don't want to dance.

Laughing.

Talking.

Drunk Friend goes and dances by herself.

Laughing.

Then it fucking hits me.

I'm fucking OLD.

Dude that has been annoying me from just the way he looks and acts?

That. Is. What. I. Would. Have. Been. Drawn. To. When. I. Was. Younger.

Much younger.

When in the hell did I pass that age that cocky guys became annoying? 

When they were no longer something I would have gone after, or hooked up a friend with?

OMG I'm fucking OLD.

Seriously.

Young people annoy me.

The way they think they know EVERYTHING.

The way they walk like they own the world.

Their clothes.

Their music. (Ok, only some of it. I secretly like most of it. Except Rap. Can't stand that crap. At least not what they all rap nowadays.)

Holy fuck. I'M OLD.

Seriously.

And the really scary part?

I think I like being old. No, scratch that, I love it.

I love not having to worry about the young, cocky guys. The backstabbing, bitchy girls.

I love Husband. I love him when we fight. I love him when we're sitting at the house. I love him when we're out.

Wait. Maybe I'm not old. Maybe I'm just extremely happy where I am, and who I'm with.

Fuck, who am I kidding. Yes, I'm happy where I'm at, and who I'm with. But I'm OLD, too.

Just wait, one of these days, you will be somewhere, doing something you've done dozens of times. And it WILL hit you. 

You are not who you used to be. You are no longer young and carefree.

You're now an adult, and young people will both scare you and annoy the shit out of you.

Trust me. It will happen.

I Hope Everyone Had A Great & Merry Day!

I hope all of you out there in Blogland had a good day! 

Our kids actually slept in until 9:30, and didn't touch the Santa presents until we were up.

(Then all hell broke loose! :) Paper was flying everywhere!)

I played good mom and made a very (un)healthy, but fantastic brunch. Croissants cut in half and toasted in a pan, scrambled eggs with heavy cream, and smoked salmon. It held them all over until I FINALLY got the holiday dinner on the table at 2:45!

The goose was great, steaks from the grill were fantastic. Too many sides to list. And homemade cheesecake for dessert. (Why didn't someone remind me how much of a pain in the ass these were to make?? I was up til 3 a.m. Baking the 2 cheesecakes!) 

The only thing missing were Mom and Dad, but we talked on the phone a few times throughout the day.

Everyone is still tuffed from grazing all day.

The kids are overdosing on video games and magic tricks.

For the first time in a long time, the kids got what they wanted. And in their words, "It was the best Christmas ever! Not only did we get what we wanted, we got even more!"

Yay for online shopping and easy price comparison! Yay for discount cards to video game stores!

If it weren't for those two things, the kids wouldn't have gotten half of what they did. 

AND we did it under budget!!

Now I'm going to sit down, and try not to fall asleep!

Have a good night all!

Christmas

Ok, this week's Blog Gang is supposed to be about Christmas. I personally do not consider what I celebrate as "Christmas". I'm more of the old school type of person. Way old school. I'm celebrating the winter solstice. The time of year when the days finally start getting longer. When the earth prepares to start to reawaken in a few months. The rebirth of the sun.

Yes, I know, I've probably just made some of you gasp in horror. You've just discovered you've been reading a non-Christian blog. Trust me, you won't be struck down for it. I promise.

If it makes y'all feel better, this believer of the old ways reads your Christian blogs, and quite enjoys them, thank you very much! :)

My children do believe in God, Jesus, and the Virgin Mother. I encourage it. Every single living being has the right to choose their religion.

We do put up a tree, we exchange gifts, Santa still comes and visits our home. I enjoy Christmas carols, the beautiful decorations on all the homes (ours included!)

Our family has a traditional meal, where we gather those we love and break bread together. Some of them share my beliefs, some of them share yours, hell, some of them may worship Barney the purple dinosaur.

You see, to me it doesn't matter what religion you may follow. Whether you celebrate the rebirth of the sun, or the birth of the Son, it makes no difference to me.

Good people are good people. Bad people are bad people. There are both in every religion. I make an effort to surround myself with those that are basically good. Who believe in giving more than receiving. Those who put out more good in the world. Those who expect nothing in return. People who can look beyond themselves, and see people for what they really are, no matter what they believe.

Now, I've got to get back to my baking and cooking, in preparation for our family gathering tomorrow. (see, we really aren't that different!)

Happy Holidays to all! Whether you celebrate Christmas, the solstice, Hannakuh, etc - just remember this: celebrate and find joy in all that you do. Find joy in the smallest things. Hug your loved ones a little tighter. Remember to give all that you can!

My mood today (music)

Bah, Humbug!

Dear Elves,

I know I'm supposed to be all happy an in the holiday spirit. But not this year.

I just can't get into it. At all.

Maybe it has something to do with Oldest wanting yet another electronic device. I seriously don't have a clue why he even wants it.

We got him a PSP a few years ago, it was gone in a month. Seems he didn't like listening to us, and took it to school. He left it in his gym locker. Unlocked. It was stolen. He didn't tell us. His friend did three months later.

Then we got him a DSi XL. I haven't seen it in months. Truth be known, I question where it went, too.

I just spent $224 on something that will probably be gone before winter is over. Yay!!

Youngest isn't any better. He changes his list daily, and it's always small things.

 So far, I've ordered him one gift, and it's not even here yet. 

Just asked him again what he wants, and he wants things to do electric experiments with. (Should I be worried that maybe he's building an electric chair for the dog or his brother??) 

Oh, and Pokemon cards. I thought those had died and left the planet 5 years ago when Oldest got past them. I was wrong.

Husband wants a big screen HD TV. (Truth be known, I wouldn't mind this, either.) The problem? I don't know a damn thing about any of these TVs. To me, the 42 inch one for $350 looks just as good as the 45 inch for $1800. Seriously - what is the difference?

Then they all want to know what I want. I want to be a millionaire. That way I can pay someone to do all the shopping. Maybe they can get it done sooner than 5 days before the big day.

Seriously. I'm not even half done shopping. And I haven't had a day off in 3 weeks. I won't have a day off before Christmas. WHEN THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSE TO SHOP??!?!?

Youngest is getting worried. There are no gifts under the tree. He is optimistic that I just have them hidden somewhere o he can't shake them.

I'm not telling him any different. 

So, dear Elves, please, do me a favor. Make all those gift appear for me. Just this once. I'll never ask again. I promise. 

Next year, I'll go for Mother of the Year award. I'll have all my shopping done in July.

Maybe.

Ok, probably not.

But I can dream.

Snow!

Yes, all, it is snowing down here in Texas.

And I love it!

I would love it more if I didn't have to work this afternoon and could play in it.

I took a few quick pictures this morning, but I think this is by far my favorite.

It is very fitting for the season, isn't it?

Strange how something as simple as snow can brighten my mood. Most people hate it.

I, however, think it makes the world look clean, refreshed, and happy.

Yes, I know, I'm weird. You don't have to say it!

Hope y'all have a good day, thanks to the snow, I know I will!

Things Your Tattoo Artist (probably) Won't Tell You

I'm serious y'all, what you are about to read is thing your tattoo artist I probably thinking, but is too polite to tell you.

1. We don't care what Kat Von D did this week on her soap opera. There are many more artists out there with just as much, if not more talent, without all the drama.

2. That cute little tattoo that you spent 30 minutes going through 100 pages of flash that called your name, and you had to have? Well, it called to at least 20 other people in the past 2 months, too.

3. The "custom" piece your buddy "drew" for you, that's one of a kind? Ten bucks says I can go to my flash racks and find that "custom, one of a kind piece".

4. Your spouse's/boyfriend's/girlfriend's name - yeah, that's not a tattoo - that's a property marker. And in 95% of them, we, or someone else will be covering it in a year.

5. We are actually not charging you as much as our time is worth. Even though you think tattoo prices are high, sometimes it barely covers our supplies.

6. Tips, while not expected, really are appreciated.

7. Your 15 person support group is not needed. The tattoo will not hurt any less with them there. (In fact, if you are one of the unlucky few that get light-headed or sick, you now have 15 people that WILL tell EVERYONE you know.)

8. Tribal art is not a fun tattoo to do. Go steal your kids' coloring books, and start coloring in them. You can only use a black crayon though. Let me know afte the first or second solid black picture how much fun it is.

9. Do not expect a stellar response if you ask for tribal, Taz, the Superman symbol, or barbwire. I'd bet almost anything, that we have seen and done every variation of those.

10. Not every tattoo has to have a meaning. Many of your artist's tattoos are there simply because we liked them. There are no stories behind them. Really. I promise.

11. See #1, again.

No, I'm not all right

I've gotten some emails from some you wanting to know if I'm ok. It seems that when I don't post often enough, people get worried. Or, when I do post, and it's not my normal sarcastic self, people get worried.

Truth be known? No, I am not all right. In fact, I'm half left. Ok, that was a poor excuse for a joke, I know.

Seriously though, I think it's just that time of fucking year.

No matter how much or how little money I have, it's never enough. Or, in actuality, I thought it was going to be enough, then one of my family members got put in jail for an unpaid ticket, and guess who got to help bail them out?? There went that $400 cushion...

The days are too damn short. Not hour wise, obviously, but sun wise. Even though I'm an insomniac, and stay up late, I love the sun. The fact that daylight savings time makes it to where there is an extra hour of sun in the morning does absolutely nothing for me. I need my extra hour in the evening, thank you very much.

Even thought this is the "slow" time of year for us business wise, it's never as slow as we seem to think it is. It's just not as busy as we'd like it to be. But, me being me, decide, "hey, December is slow in the tattoo world, so make sure and keep yourself busy doing other things. Selling wickless candles, making plans with other people, doing things with/for the kids, etc." That's when all hell breaks looses.

I fucking overextended myself - again. I do this regularly, then Husband wonders why I never accomplish anything. It also doesn't help that I am easily sidetracked: working, working, working....wait...did I take care of this?? Check on this. I got it half way done. Decide I need to finish it. Finish. Working, working, working...shit, I forgot I was supposed to do THAT four fucking days ago. Hurry off to do that. Working, working....oh hell, I'm behind on what?? Rush to try and finish what. Working....wait....what the hell was I originally working on? Try and remember for 15 minutes. Phone rings, take care of this and that. Still can't remember what I was originally working on. Say fuck it it's ok, I'll eventually remember. (Yes, this is REALLY what happens to me daily. Seriously. No joke.)

And now, ladies and gentleman, you truly know the answer to. "Are you ok?" (Ok, seriously? You can't figure that out on your own??? The damn answer is NO, I'm NOT ok! Just ask Husband, I'm sure he will be more than happy to provide even more examples of how I lose track of EVERYTHING.)

Losing My Haven

I was looking through some pictures on my phone, and suddenly realized I only have a few weeks left to enjoy one of my favorite places to run away to.

Due to water levels going to record lows, the marina at the local lake is closing down January first.

The dock there is where I taught my youngest son to fish, and he liked it so well, it's all he ever wants to do.

I caught my first - and second - walleye from this dock.

When we have a bad day at work, this is where Husband and I go to unwind. We throw in a few poles, sit & talk, enjoy the scenery, and if we catch something it's a bonus.

If Husband and I are having one of "those" days, it's not unknown for me to take a few hours to myself and hide at the lake with nothing but the fish for company.

We're not fairweather fishermen, either. Those walleye? I caught them in November a year or so ago. So, this isn't something that will hit next spring, this is effecting me in the here and now.

In just a few weeks, the dock will be gone.

I don't know where I'll go to find my little piece of sanity after that.

Already?!?!

If I've figured right, we are officially into the "12 days of Christmas" time of year. When I was a kid, this is about the time I went nuts trying to get my parents to let me open even ONE gift.

I guess I'm falling down on my parenting skills, as I have yet to even buy my kids one single gift.

In all honesty, I know what they want, and I know what I'm getting them. I just really, really don't want to have to go to the stores to buy it.

I'd planned on buying most of it online, so that I could avoid all the crazy, rude, last minute shoppers. Alas, it seems I've waited too long to even do that.

Time to put my big girl pants on and go fight the crowds. *sigh*

Think my kids would get mad if I just postponed the gift part of the holidays until say, March?

It's time to confess!

Yes, it's that time again! Time to vent and confess!




I confess:

• that I'm really starting to hate the whole Holiday/Christmas time of year.
• it seems every where I turn there is someone expecting me to give a handout.
• I don't mind donating, but I can only give so much.
• my kids aren't any different than the charities.
• every year they seem to think they deserve to get more and more and more.
• I'm thisclose to telling them this year there will be no presents.
• I wouldn't really do that, but sometimes it is tempting.
• this is also one of the busiest times of year for me.
• as a Scentsy consultant, I sell more during the next week than I sell in the whole month of July.
• I can sleep in January.
• I'm really not complaining, my Scentsy pay is buying all the things my kids think they need for Christmas.
• I did take 4 hours to myself today
• I had my hair done.
• I don't even feel guilty.
• this is the first time in over 2 months that I took time to do this.
• it's looks pretty awesome if  I do say so, myself.
• husband even likes it.
• that's always a bonus.

Marriage

When I originally started writing this blog gang post, I was going to talk about my experiences with marriage, and how finally on my 3rd marriage I managed to get it right.

Then it happened.

I had a friend told by her manager that she could no longer refer to her wife as her wife. The reason she was given was that it "might offend" some of the customers that came in the store. The next excuse was that it was for her own "protection".

I was instantly pissed, in fact I still am.

Who has the right to tell another human being that they are no longer allowed to admit who they love? In my opinion, no one has that right. No one has the right to tell someone it may "offend" someone else, while the whole time they are offending the person standing in front of them.

Who are you, I, or anyone else to tell someone they can't love who they love? You can't control that, it happens to you.

A marriage is a vow between two people to love, cherish, and stand by each other through good times and bad. It's not about one of you must have a vagina and the other a penis. It's no one's business what a married couple does behind a closed bedroom door, as long as it's consensual.

What are people so scared of that they can't "legalize" same sex marriage? Don't give me the argument it will ruin heterosexual marriages. Unless one of the people is gay or a lesbian, it will not effect their marriage at all. (And just a guess, if one of them are homosexual and the other heterosexual, there are already issues in that marriage.)

Here's a novel idea: instead of worrying about letting gays and lesbians marry, start looking at the divorce rate between heterosexuals. Look at the murder rates, the sexual assaults, child abuse, etc. Let's start worrying about something that is a hell of a lot more likely to happen to all of us, instead of worrying that homosexuals are going to try and secretly convert everyone.

I want everyone to stop and think for a minute. Would you look at your accountant different if they're a lesbian? Your doctor different if he's gay? No? Then why not give them the right to devote and share their lives with the person they love.

Because that's what marriage should be about: Love. Respect. Caring. Trust. Devotion.

And they say Kansas is flat....

Since I transplanted to Texas almost 12 years ago, I've heard all the Kansas jokes. How flat it is, no running water, Dorothy & the Land of Oz (ok, that is actually pretty kick ass), etc, etc.

Then you drive down roads in Texas, and you wonder how in the hell Texans have any room to say anything about Kansas...

Don't get me wrong, I still think landscapes like this are gorgeous. Just don't try telling me that it's somehow "better"! 

-- Sent from my Palm Pre

More Theatre Painting

Once again, life is getting in the way of the blog. I promise I will get back here soon & give y'all a real post!

Until then, you can see that we start them young in our household when it comes to big art projects!

-- Sent from my Palm Pre