Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Things Your Tattoo Artist (probably) Won't Tell You

I'm serious y'all, what you are about to read is thing your tattoo artist I probably thinking, but is too polite to tell you.

1. We don't care what Kat Von D did this week on her soap opera. There are many more artists out there with just as much, if not more talent, without all the drama.

2. That cute little tattoo that you spent 30 minutes going through 100 pages of flash that called your name, and you had to have? Well, it called to at least 20 other people in the past 2 months, too.

3. The "custom" piece your buddy "drew" for you, that's one of a kind? Ten bucks says I can go to my flash racks and find that "custom, one of a kind piece".

4. Your spouse's/boyfriend's/girlfriend's name - yeah, that's not a tattoo - that's a property marker. And in 95% of them, we, or someone else will be covering it in a year.

5. We are actually not charging you as much as our time is worth. Even though you think tattoo prices are high, sometimes it barely covers our supplies.

6. Tips, while not expected, really are appreciated.

7. Your 15 person support group is not needed. The tattoo will not hurt any less with them there. (In fact, if you are one of the unlucky few that get light-headed or sick, you now have 15 people that WILL tell EVERYONE you know.)

8. Tribal art is not a fun tattoo to do. Go steal your kids' coloring books, and start coloring in them. You can only use a black crayon though. Let me know afte the first or second solid black picture how much fun it is.

9. Do not expect a stellar response if you ask for tribal, Taz, the Superman symbol, or barbwire. I'd bet almost anything, that we have seen and done every variation of those.

10. Not every tattoo has to have a meaning. Many of your artist's tattoos are there simply because we liked them. There are no stories behind them. Really. I promise.

11. See #1, again.


  1. Well. Now I sort of hate you. In a jealous way. A tattoo artist? So much cooler than Nursing Home Nurse (that's me!!!)

    I have five tattoos. None of them would impress you. Expept maybe my elephants. I love them.

    I have a big black Kame the Tortoise on my back. Lots O' Black. I fucking love it!!

    I am a fantastic client by the way. The pain does not bother me one bit, I stay relaxed and I am very fun to chat with. So. When are you making a trip to the Boston area? I really need a portrait of my kid on my back.

  2. Funny thing? 15 years ago, I started school for nursing. I worke in a ret home and a hospital. After 2 years, I'd had enough. I couldn't do it. So, kudos to you for being able to handle it! (Trust me y'all, that is a hard job!)

    As for your turtle? It doesn't sound like tribal. Really. It's not some random tribal armband. Or the same variant of the tribal sleeve we see so often. You're safe!

    Boston? Don't tempt me. There are days I fel like running far away. Boston sounds as good as anywhere else.