Friday, May 6, 2011

Special Needs

I have a child with "special" needs.

There, I said it. It's not easy writing that down. Or saying it. Or admitting it.

My child has no real "label" that can be stuck on him. Currently, he is "clinically depressed". Severely. 

But then there are the symptoms that do not fit under that nice, neat label.

There are days I think I see signs of autism. Others, I see ADHD. Still others, severe anger issues.

He gets commended on any and all state assessment tests. Yet, hand him a homework paper and he ends up in the fetal position.

Ask him his opinion. He won't have one. The standard answer is "I don't know". 

I finally got him to admit, that yes, he does know. However, he is so afraid that certain people in his life will be mad, or no longer love him, that he chooses to NOT answer, instead of risking making someone feel "bad".

The new psychologist sees it all as depression.

I'm not saying she's wrong. She may be completely right. She deals with these issues every day. (Ok, so do I, but I have not been trained to understand all the hidden diagnosis'.)

She also feels that she knows what may be causing this depression. She  has spoken with me at length about it. Since his dad has only been to one appt, he seems to choose to hide from it.

Which, to me, also means he's trying to place the blame anywhere but on himself. 

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying it's all is fault. But he played a part. A bigger part than I even want to admit.

I have a child with special needs.

But it's ok.

That child is very special to me, so it would make sense that he has special needs.

1 comment:

  1. I'll be thinking of your son and hoping that his depression will lessen or get resolved over time (I'm not too familiar with all of it, so sorry if I come across as a complete moron). And I hope his father steps up and becomes supportive.