(I'm about a week late getting this published, but better late than never!)
The worst advice I ever received was, "It will only hurt for a second."
Ok, wait, I guess that really wouldn't be advice, now would it? :)
Seriously now, the Worst Advice I ever received was probably: "things will change for the better once you're married." While this is true in this, my third marriage, it was NOT true in my first marriage.
To my first husband, being married meant that I had signed ownership papers for him.
Instead of things getting better, and trust me, they really needed to get better, they got worse.
Instead of just getting shoved and pushed around like I had before the marriage, after, it went to out and out abuse.
Choking me? Wasn't a problem for him. In fact, I think in his head he considered it an accomplishment if he could turn me purple without actually making me pass out.
Hitting me? He was one of the best at doing it where it wouldn't leave a visible mark. If he slipped, and by accident left a mark, I was coached on how to play it off to everyone else.
Sexual abuse? Check. If I didn't want to do any of the weird shit he expected, it was because I was cheating on him.
Threats to my life? Got it covered. One of the last things he said to me was to always watch my back, as if he couldn't have me, he would ensure that neither would anyone else.
Threats on my children? Yep, he did that, too. In the end, he took off with them.
Emotional abuse? I don't have enough room to type it all out. Just suffice it to say that I still am recovering from a lot of it.
Controlling? I was told what to wear, how to wear and color my hair, how long a trip the grocery store should take. If I defied any of these, and more, I paid the price.
I know that a lot of my readers don't know a lot of the details of my first marriage. And trust me, even though I did this in kind of smart ass way, it's a part of me that will never fully go away. An abusive relationship is in no way a joke. Yes, 16 years later, I can make jokes about it. That's my way of dealing, and healing, and putting it all behind me.
I'm older now, and I wish I could go back to that 16 year old girl, and get her to listen to me. However, I know that's not possible, and I know she wouldn't have listened. You see, that girl had herself convinced of the same thing others would tell her - commit to it fully, and it will get better.
It didn't. In fact, from what I hear, it wasn't any better for his next wife, or the mistresses, or the girlfriends after that.
If you are in an abusive relationship, you know what is going on is wrong. No matter how many ways you try and justify it, it's not your fault, and it usually won't get better. There are always exceptions, but they are few and far between. You can not change them. They have to want to change themselves, and recondition their way of thinking. There is nothing you can do, until the abuser makes the decision, and takes the steps to make it better.
Know that there are options out there to get help. Know that you will survive once you leave. I won't sugar coat it, and tell you it will be easy. But to me, even with the stalking, and the break ins, my quality of life drastically improved. I felt I could breath, without fear of the next punch. If I didn't want to do the dishes, no one was there to degrade me nine different ways. Sex once again became something I could enjoy.
When I first thought about this topic, this was not where I intended it to go. I was going to write something light hearted, and not quite so personal. However, when I sat down and started typing, this is what came out. Maybe it was time. Hopefully, 16 years later, the healing is coming to a close for me.
For those of you that know someone in an abusive relationship, here is my advice: Don't tell them it's wrong. They already know that. Don't tell them they are stupid. They already feel that. Don't tell them it will get better, and then pretend like you don't know. It most likely won't. Don't tell them that if they, the victim, change, the abuse will stop. It won't. What can you do? Be there to listen, and encourage them - not to judge and condemn. Be the leaning post they need. When, or if, they finally take the step to leave, you will be needed more than you know.
Abusers can be a man or a woman. The victim can be a man or a woman. Abuse is something that doesn't know gender boundaries. An abused man should hold no more shame than an abused woman. Society needs to realize this. An abuser is an abuser, no matter their sex, or who their victims are.
An abused spouse loves the abuser. The abuser doesn't abuse all the time. There are good days. That is why so many of us stay, because we convince ourselves the good will eventually outweigh the bad. We stay because we convince ourselves it's best for the kids. We stay because we don't want to admit to the world that we are being abused, and are taking it. We stay because we don't know any different. We stay.
And then, one day, we leave. We lose a lot. We no longer have a home. We no longer have a "family". We no longer are told what to do and when to do it. We no longer have to cower. We learn to stand up for ourselves. We learn to live again.
Showing posts with label blog gang. Show all posts
Showing posts with label blog gang. Show all posts
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Saturday, January 29, 2011
I'm back!
With everything going on around here, I have several posts sitting in Draft status. I am working on getting them to published.
The trip to Denver this week put me even further behind (though I have to say that DIA is one of the best airports I've ever been to!), and since I'm too cheap to spend $$$ on a laptop, I just deal with it!
Blog Gang post will be first to be published, albeit a few days late!
Have a great weekend!
The trip to Denver this week put me even further behind (though I have to say that DIA is one of the best airports I've ever been to!), and since I'm too cheap to spend $$$ on a laptop, I just deal with it!
Blog Gang post will be first to be published, albeit a few days late!
Have a great weekend!
Friday, January 14, 2011
Fact or Fiction: Blog Gang
My post is a little late - sorry y'all! I finally had to threaten my computer with a sledgehammer to get it to work right for me!
Anywho - today I'm supposed to be writing on the topic, "Fact or Fiction". To be honest, I've been trying to think this one through in my head for two weeks, and I just keep ending up at a wall. On that note, I'm just going to wing it, and hope for the best!
Here's the basics:
Ever watched a court show on TV? Or been in court? (If not, what rock did you just crawl out from under?) Remember all the lawyers/actors always going on about, "The FACTS of the case are blah, blah, blah." Uhmmm...yeah...most of them weren't FACTS. They were someone's version of the truth. Unless there is a video and audio recording of the event, don't count on what you are told as being the FACTS.
Don't believe me? Say you witness an accident on Main Street, USA between a red Ford truck and a blue Chevy car. This to you is a fact, right? Well, to the witness across the road who says the facts are: A maroon Ford F150 pick-up with white pinstripes, ran into the teal Chevrolet Camaro, your version is not a fact, it's bits and pieces of it. The 26 year old driving the aqua Chevy will claim that the truck looked like a Ford F250, and had red paint with beige stripes down the side.
Ever sat there with a friend and heard them tell a story about the time you two got drunk? You know damn good and well there was no bar fight, and that you are the one that drove home. However, in their version, you were both involved in some major altercation, and you were so drunk you couldn't even walk to the car. Are they intentionally lying? Probably not. But once the story starts to be told, your friend may remember some little thing about the night that you don't. In your friends mind, it was a HUGE deal, and it's what they remember most. You don't remember it that way. Who's the one telling the fact, and who's telling the fiction? Trust me, after a few years of the same story, you're going to start to wonder yourself if your version of the facts is in actuality the fiction.
What I'm trying to get at is this: While you may fully believe you are telling the facts of what you saw or did, you are in all actuality telling your version of the facts, with a little bit of fiction thrown in. It's human nature. We embellish. We all remember different things about the same event. Why do you think cops try to get as many witness statements as possible? It's so that HOPEFULLY out of 15 stories they can find enough that say the same things here and there. They, in turn, write down the similarities as "Fact".
And y'all wonder why, 40+ years later, we still don't know who shot JFK....
Anywho - today I'm supposed to be writing on the topic, "Fact or Fiction". To be honest, I've been trying to think this one through in my head for two weeks, and I just keep ending up at a wall. On that note, I'm just going to wing it, and hope for the best!
Here's the basics:
- Fact = something that can be proven to be true, beyond any reasonable doubt.
- Fiction = an embellishment of a fact, or a made up story for entertainment.
Ever watched a court show on TV? Or been in court? (If not, what rock did you just crawl out from under?) Remember all the lawyers/actors always going on about, "The FACTS of the case are blah, blah, blah." Uhmmm...yeah...most of them weren't FACTS. They were someone's version of the truth. Unless there is a video and audio recording of the event, don't count on what you are told as being the FACTS.
Don't believe me? Say you witness an accident on Main Street, USA between a red Ford truck and a blue Chevy car. This to you is a fact, right? Well, to the witness across the road who says the facts are: A maroon Ford F150 pick-up with white pinstripes, ran into the teal Chevrolet Camaro, your version is not a fact, it's bits and pieces of it. The 26 year old driving the aqua Chevy will claim that the truck looked like a Ford F250, and had red paint with beige stripes down the side.
Ever sat there with a friend and heard them tell a story about the time you two got drunk? You know damn good and well there was no bar fight, and that you are the one that drove home. However, in their version, you were both involved in some major altercation, and you were so drunk you couldn't even walk to the car. Are they intentionally lying? Probably not. But once the story starts to be told, your friend may remember some little thing about the night that you don't. In your friends mind, it was a HUGE deal, and it's what they remember most. You don't remember it that way. Who's the one telling the fact, and who's telling the fiction? Trust me, after a few years of the same story, you're going to start to wonder yourself if your version of the facts is in actuality the fiction.
What I'm trying to get at is this: While you may fully believe you are telling the facts of what you saw or did, you are in all actuality telling your version of the facts, with a little bit of fiction thrown in. It's human nature. We embellish. We all remember different things about the same event. Why do you think cops try to get as many witness statements as possible? It's so that HOPEFULLY out of 15 stories they can find enough that say the same things here and there. They, in turn, write down the similarities as "Fact".
And y'all wonder why, 40+ years later, we still don't know who shot JFK....
Saturday, December 25, 2010
Christmas
Ok, this week's Blog Gang is supposed to be about Christmas. I personally do not consider what I celebrate as "Christmas". I'm more of the old school type of person. Way old school. I'm celebrating the winter solstice. The time of year when the days finally start getting longer. When the earth prepares to start to reawaken in a few months. The rebirth of the sun.
Yes, I know, I've probably just made some of you gasp in horror. You've just discovered you've been reading a non-Christian blog. Trust me, you won't be struck down for it. I promise.
If it makes y'all feel better, this believer of the old ways reads your Christian blogs, and quite enjoys them, thank you very much! :)
My children do believe in God, Jesus, and the Virgin Mother. I encourage it. Every single living being has the right to choose their religion.
We do put up a tree, we exchange gifts, Santa still comes and visits our home. I enjoy Christmas carols, the beautiful decorations on all the homes (ours included!)
Our family has a traditional meal, where we gather those we love and break bread together. Some of them share my beliefs, some of them share yours, hell, some of them may worship Barney the purple dinosaur.
You see, to me it doesn't matter what religion you may follow. Whether you celebrate the rebirth of the sun, or the birth of the Son, it makes no difference to me.
Good people are good people. Bad people are bad people. There are both in every religion. I make an effort to surround myself with those that are basically good. Who believe in giving more than receiving. Those who put out more good in the world. Those who expect nothing in return. People who can look beyond themselves, and see people for what they really are, no matter what they believe.
Now, I've got to get back to my baking and cooking, in preparation for our family gathering tomorrow. (see, we really aren't that different!)
Happy Holidays to all! Whether you celebrate Christmas, the solstice, Hannakuh, etc - just remember this: celebrate and find joy in all that you do. Find joy in the smallest things. Hug your loved ones a little tighter. Remember to give all that you can!
Yes, I know, I've probably just made some of you gasp in horror. You've just discovered you've been reading a non-Christian blog. Trust me, you won't be struck down for it. I promise.
If it makes y'all feel better, this believer of the old ways reads your Christian blogs, and quite enjoys them, thank you very much! :)
My children do believe in God, Jesus, and the Virgin Mother. I encourage it. Every single living being has the right to choose their religion.
We do put up a tree, we exchange gifts, Santa still comes and visits our home. I enjoy Christmas carols, the beautiful decorations on all the homes (ours included!)
Our family has a traditional meal, where we gather those we love and break bread together. Some of them share my beliefs, some of them share yours, hell, some of them may worship Barney the purple dinosaur.
You see, to me it doesn't matter what religion you may follow. Whether you celebrate the rebirth of the sun, or the birth of the Son, it makes no difference to me.
Good people are good people. Bad people are bad people. There are both in every religion. I make an effort to surround myself with those that are basically good. Who believe in giving more than receiving. Those who put out more good in the world. Those who expect nothing in return. People who can look beyond themselves, and see people for what they really are, no matter what they believe.
Now, I've got to get back to my baking and cooking, in preparation for our family gathering tomorrow. (see, we really aren't that different!)
Happy Holidays to all! Whether you celebrate Christmas, the solstice, Hannakuh, etc - just remember this: celebrate and find joy in all that you do. Find joy in the smallest things. Hug your loved ones a little tighter. Remember to give all that you can!
Thursday, December 9, 2010
Marriage
When I originally started writing this blog gang post, I was going to talk about my experiences with marriage, and how finally on my 3rd marriage I managed to get it right.
Then it happened.
I had a friend told by her manager that she could no longer refer to her wife as her wife. The reason she was given was that it "might offend" some of the customers that came in the store. The next excuse was that it was for her own "protection".
I was instantly pissed, in fact I still am.
Who has the right to tell another human being that they are no longer allowed to admit who they love? In my opinion, no one has that right. No one has the right to tell someone it may "offend" someone else, while the whole time they are offending the person standing in front of them.
Who are you, I, or anyone else to tell someone they can't love who they love? You can't control that, it happens to you.
A marriage is a vow between two people to love, cherish, and stand by each other through good times and bad. It's not about one of you must have a vagina and the other a penis. It's no one's business what a married couple does behind a closed bedroom door, as long as it's consensual.
What are people so scared of that they can't "legalize" same sex marriage? Don't give me the argument it will ruin heterosexual marriages. Unless one of the people is gay or a lesbian, it will not effect their marriage at all. (And just a guess, if one of them are homosexual and the other heterosexual, there are already issues in that marriage.)
Here's a novel idea: instead of worrying about letting gays and lesbians marry, start looking at the divorce rate between heterosexuals. Look at the murder rates, the sexual assaults, child abuse, etc. Let's start worrying about something that is a hell of a lot more likely to happen to all of us, instead of worrying that homosexuals are going to try and secretly convert everyone.
I want everyone to stop and think for a minute. Would you look at your accountant different if they're a lesbian? Your doctor different if he's gay? No? Then why not give them the right to devote and share their lives with the person they love.
Because that's what marriage should be about: Love. Respect. Caring. Trust. Devotion.
Then it happened.
I had a friend told by her manager that she could no longer refer to her wife as her wife. The reason she was given was that it "might offend" some of the customers that came in the store. The next excuse was that it was for her own "protection".
I was instantly pissed, in fact I still am.
Who has the right to tell another human being that they are no longer allowed to admit who they love? In my opinion, no one has that right. No one has the right to tell someone it may "offend" someone else, while the whole time they are offending the person standing in front of them.
Who are you, I, or anyone else to tell someone they can't love who they love? You can't control that, it happens to you.
A marriage is a vow between two people to love, cherish, and stand by each other through good times and bad. It's not about one of you must have a vagina and the other a penis. It's no one's business what a married couple does behind a closed bedroom door, as long as it's consensual.
What are people so scared of that they can't "legalize" same sex marriage? Don't give me the argument it will ruin heterosexual marriages. Unless one of the people is gay or a lesbian, it will not effect their marriage at all. (And just a guess, if one of them are homosexual and the other heterosexual, there are already issues in that marriage.)
Here's a novel idea: instead of worrying about letting gays and lesbians marry, start looking at the divorce rate between heterosexuals. Look at the murder rates, the sexual assaults, child abuse, etc. Let's start worrying about something that is a hell of a lot more likely to happen to all of us, instead of worrying that homosexuals are going to try and secretly convert everyone.
I want everyone to stop and think for a minute. Would you look at your accountant different if they're a lesbian? Your doctor different if he's gay? No? Then why not give them the right to devote and share their lives with the person they love.
Because that's what marriage should be about: Love. Respect. Caring. Trust. Devotion.
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Hobby (Blog Gang)
As part of the Blog Gang, I'm given a topic every few weeks to write about. This time, the topic is "Hobby". I thought to myself, well, that will be easy. I can simply write about my hobby. How hard can that be? Oh, wait, I just realized that I don't think I really have a hobby. Ok, see, this is where things get tough.
I'm scatterbrained, and I really don't stick with most things long enough for them to be considered hobbies. I am easily bored, and if something new comes along that looks more interesting than what I'm in the middle of, I will try the new activity. This is not conducive to having a a hobby. Hell, there's days it's not conducive to having a job. But, we won't go there. This is supposed to be about HOBBIES, the exact OPPOSITE of a job.
This is the definition of hobby: An activity or interest pursued outside one's regular occupation and engaged in primarily for pleasure.
I create art for a living. That makes me a professional, not a hobbyist. So, check "art" and all related items off the "hobby" list.
I am addicted to wickless candles. But I sell them, so I guess that takes away any chance of adding them to that list, too.
I garden, but I always forget to water it, never get it planted on time, forget to harvest it, and that's only for about 3 months out of the year. So, this one is disqualified, as I think a hobby is supposed to be something you do year round to relax. (Not to mention REMEMBER to do!)
Oh, wait!! Reading!! I LOVE to read!! Then again, since I read so much, would that really be considered a hobby? And there are times I read that I really don't enjoy it. The book is stupid, and I'm too stubborn to put it down unfinished, or other crap like that. In all honesty, I think I treat reading more as an addiction. In my mind there is no such thing as too many books. Ok, reading is now off the list. Yes, I do it for pleasure in my off time, but seriously, I always see a "hobby" as actually DOING something. In that vein...is reading really DOING something?
Does picking on my Husband and children count? I enjoy that. Wait, I also work with Husband, so would that disqualify it as it's tied in with work? Hmmm...not sure on that one.
I cook, but not always because I want to, or because I enjoy it. There are days that cooking just isn't all that fun. I think that means it's off the list, too.
Can sex be a hobby? I enjoy it. That has to mean something, right? I do it in my off time. It relaxes me. Ok, ok....we won't go here. (But seriously, could you consider sex a hobby??)
And here I've been thinking for over a week that this one was going to be so damn easy. I'm serious y'all, I really can't think of anything that would technically be classified as a hobby, that I do on a regular enough basis. How effing effed up is that???
We'll pretend that I have so many hobbies that I just really don't know where to start. Hell, that may be true, and my brain worms just won't go away long enough for me to realize it. So, how about this - I'll make a list of things I really enjoy, and when I actually get off time, I do them:
~Fishing
~Camping
~Concerts
~Traveling
~Ghost hunting
~Gardening - when I remember to water and harvest
~Reading - do this way too much, and Husband hates how my collection takes over the bedroom
~Watching TV
~Singing along to music while I'm driving
~Driving fast, especially on curvy roads. I'm 35 and still pretend I'm a Nascar driver at times.
~Spending time with Husband
~Spending time with Kids
~Blogging - even though I'm not that good, it relaxes me, and I enjoy it, even if y'all don't enjoy reading it.
There we go - Blogging. This is what I do in my "outside work" time. This is something I enjoy. It relaxes me. I'm not a professional blogger. I do it when I need to unwind, and vent. I do it on a regular basis (for the most part). I don't make very much money at it, if any at all (it depends on the day).
Sounds like I finally found my hobby. I blog. Yay Me!! :)
Now, get out of here, and go read everyone elses stuff. I'm sure it's much more entertaining, educational, and better written!!
I'm scatterbrained, and I really don't stick with most things long enough for them to be considered hobbies. I am easily bored, and if something new comes along that looks more interesting than what I'm in the middle of, I will try the new activity. This is not conducive to having a a hobby. Hell, there's days it's not conducive to having a job. But, we won't go there. This is supposed to be about HOBBIES, the exact OPPOSITE of a job.
This is the definition of hobby: An activity or interest pursued outside one's regular occupation and engaged in primarily for pleasure.
I create art for a living. That makes me a professional, not a hobbyist. So, check "art" and all related items off the "hobby" list.
I am addicted to wickless candles. But I sell them, so I guess that takes away any chance of adding them to that list, too.
I garden, but I always forget to water it, never get it planted on time, forget to harvest it, and that's only for about 3 months out of the year. So, this one is disqualified, as I think a hobby is supposed to be something you do year round to relax. (Not to mention REMEMBER to do!)
Oh, wait!! Reading!! I LOVE to read!! Then again, since I read so much, would that really be considered a hobby? And there are times I read that I really don't enjoy it. The book is stupid, and I'm too stubborn to put it down unfinished, or other crap like that. In all honesty, I think I treat reading more as an addiction. In my mind there is no such thing as too many books. Ok, reading is now off the list. Yes, I do it for pleasure in my off time, but seriously, I always see a "hobby" as actually DOING something. In that vein...is reading really DOING something?
Does picking on my Husband and children count? I enjoy that. Wait, I also work with Husband, so would that disqualify it as it's tied in with work? Hmmm...not sure on that one.
I cook, but not always because I want to, or because I enjoy it. There are days that cooking just isn't all that fun. I think that means it's off the list, too.
Can sex be a hobby? I enjoy it. That has to mean something, right? I do it in my off time. It relaxes me. Ok, ok....we won't go here. (But seriously, could you consider sex a hobby??)
And here I've been thinking for over a week that this one was going to be so damn easy. I'm serious y'all, I really can't think of anything that would technically be classified as a hobby, that I do on a regular enough basis. How effing effed up is that???
We'll pretend that I have so many hobbies that I just really don't know where to start. Hell, that may be true, and my brain worms just won't go away long enough for me to realize it. So, how about this - I'll make a list of things I really enjoy, and when I actually get off time, I do them:
~Fishing
~Camping
~Concerts
~Traveling
~Ghost hunting
~Gardening - when I remember to water and harvest
~Reading - do this way too much, and Husband hates how my collection takes over the bedroom
~Watching TV
~Singing along to music while I'm driving
~Driving fast, especially on curvy roads. I'm 35 and still pretend I'm a Nascar driver at times.
~Spending time with Husband
~Spending time with Kids
~Blogging - even though I'm not that good, it relaxes me, and I enjoy it, even if y'all don't enjoy reading it.
There we go - Blogging. This is what I do in my "outside work" time. This is something I enjoy. It relaxes me. I'm not a professional blogger. I do it when I need to unwind, and vent. I do it on a regular basis (for the most part). I don't make very much money at it, if any at all (it depends on the day).
Sounds like I finally found my hobby. I blog. Yay Me!! :)
Now, get out of here, and go read everyone elses stuff. I'm sure it's much more entertaining, educational, and better written!!
This Is Not A Real Post
Sorry to let y'all down, but this blogger is suffering from too much shit to do and not enough time to do it. Which in turn is leading to half my shit not getting done, and total exhaustion.
Today, it's the blog that's not getting done. I put at least one thing off each day, decided it's the blog's turn at getting left out.
Hopefully tomorrow I can grace y'all with my full attention, and tell you my wonderful adventures in fifth grade lunchroom land.
No promises, though!
However, I can promise there WILL be a guaranteed real post on Thursday! That's Blog Gang day, and I get to try and figure out which part of my life I can qualify as a "Hobby". That could be fun. I don't think I have time for hobbies....
Anywho, I took two melatonin,and miracle of all miracles, I'm actually tired before 4 a.m. If it wears off, and I get back out of bed, I'll write a real post. But only IF I end up not sleeping.
Hey, you can't blame me, sleep is a coveted commodity around here!
Today, it's the blog that's not getting done. I put at least one thing off each day, decided it's the blog's turn at getting left out.
Hopefully tomorrow I can grace y'all with my full attention, and tell you my wonderful adventures in fifth grade lunchroom land.
No promises, though!
However, I can promise there WILL be a guaranteed real post on Thursday! That's Blog Gang day, and I get to try and figure out which part of my life I can qualify as a "Hobby". That could be fun. I don't think I have time for hobbies....
Anywho, I took two melatonin,and miracle of all miracles, I'm actually tired before 4 a.m. If it wears off, and I get back out of bed, I'll write a real post. But only IF I end up not sleeping.
Hey, you can't blame me, sleep is a coveted commodity around here!
Friday, October 29, 2010
Halloween - Blog Gang
So, this week's Blog Gang topic is Halloween. I don't even know where to start with this one! Be forewarned that this could be a long post!
Halloween has been my favorite holiday for as long as I can remember. To me it's always been better than Christmas and all the other holidays combined! I mean, seriously, when else can you dress as crazy as you want and be considered normal? Not to mention that up until about the age of 12 to 14 you can dress up, act crazy and get CANDY.....what more can you ask for from a holiday? (We will not get into all the toilet paper, eggs, and shaving cream shenanigans I got up to around age 14. We'll just say that I was a normal teenager, and it was much more lenient times when it came to law enforcement officers!) And that's even before you get into the decorations, or carving pumpkins. Besides, the weather is almost perfect this time of year: not too cold, not too hot.
I've always loved dressing up, and seeing everyone else's costumes, too. I remember when I was younger my mother would try and make our costumes every year. To this day, I don't know what my favorite one was. Was it the year I was a witch and she hand beaded a spider on my cape? Was it the year I was a sorceress?
I try and do the same for my children, though there have been times that they wanted store bought costumes. That's ok, I've still instilled a love of the Halloween spirit into them. Each year, I give them Halloween baskets. I guess we can pretend they come from the Great Pumpkin. (They both also love Nightmare Before Christmas - how could any child of mine not? Come on, I even have Jack and Sally tattooed on me!) Oldest has been working a haunted house the past few nights, and tomorrow night Youngest will join him in the adventure as a child patient with a demented nurse in an insane asylum. I did not ask youngest to do this, we went through the haunt, and he wanted to know why he couldn't be in it. We did some asking, and lo and behold, his wish came true.
I still dress up for Halloween to this day, and try and come up with something new every year. This year, I'm going as a 50's pin-up girl, with a Day of the Dead face. I've been witches, vampires, living dead dolls, genies, zombies, and even a bride.
Now wait, before you think, "bride, who the hell would dress up as a bride for Halloween unless it's like a dead, bleeding zombie bride?", let me rephrase that a little. On Halloween, I was a bride. Or to be more exact, on the eve BEFORE Halloween (or in some circle's "Hell night"), I was a bride. That's right, it's almost Husband and I's anniversary!
We had actually wanted to get married on Halloween, but five years ago, Halloween had the bad luck of falling on a Monday, and everyone griped that getting married on a Monday wasn't right, and that they wouldn't be able to make it, blah, blah, blah. Soooo.....we got married on October 30, a Sunday. It's all good though. We still dressed up a little different - my dress was hot pink and black, he wore tails and a top hat with a black and red spiderweb shirt. Our boys stood up with us, one as a grim reaper, the other as Spiderman. My matron of honor was a gothic Raggedy Ann, and oldest daughter (bridesmaid) was a princess. Best man wore an outfit he had purchased in India ( I don't know what he was dressed AS...just know that was one kick ass suit!). .
We walked down the aisle to Uncle Kracker's "Follow Me", and walked out to "Highway to Hell". Our cake was based on the cake from Tim Burton's "Corpse Bride". I made it, and decided to be twisted. I dyed the cake black, and had raspberry filling in the layers, so it looked as if the cake was bleeding - oh, and we cut it with a meat cleaver. We also did our toast to each other with Jack Daniels, out of skeleton hand wine glasses. Oh, and before I forget - our invitations were coffin shaped, our bubbles looked like vials of blood, and out guests also wore costumes! (What, you think I call myself the "Misfit Mommy" just for the hell of it? Nope, Husband and I tend to do things OUR way, everyone else be damned!)
In other words - I figured out how to make sure that Halloween would always continue to be special to me, no matter my age! Even when I'm in a rest home and wheelchair bound, and can no longer dress up, I still get to remember my wedding day. How awesome is that? (Oh, and remember how I said that we had to switch to the day BEFORE Halloween for the wedding? Well, the person who officiated messed up and put October 31st as our date of marriage. I keep trying to convince Husband that means we have TWO anniversaries, but he hasn't gone for it....)
Since I could go on FOREVER about Halloween and why I love it, and all of you would end up getting extremely bored, and decide to never, ever read my blog again, I'm going to leave off with this:
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY HUSBAND!! It's been a great five years of marriage, and here's to many, many more years together! Thank you for putting up with my crazy ass, the fact that I can't sleep half the time, the fact that my unorganized butt drives your extremely organized self to the point of insanity, and so many more things that I know drive you nuts! :) Love you!
Halloween has been my favorite holiday for as long as I can remember. To me it's always been better than Christmas and all the other holidays combined! I mean, seriously, when else can you dress as crazy as you want and be considered normal? Not to mention that up until about the age of 12 to 14 you can dress up, act crazy and get CANDY.....what more can you ask for from a holiday? (We will not get into all the toilet paper, eggs, and shaving cream shenanigans I got up to around age 14. We'll just say that I was a normal teenager, and it was much more lenient times when it came to law enforcement officers!) And that's even before you get into the decorations, or carving pumpkins. Besides, the weather is almost perfect this time of year: not too cold, not too hot.
I've always loved dressing up, and seeing everyone else's costumes, too. I remember when I was younger my mother would try and make our costumes every year. To this day, I don't know what my favorite one was. Was it the year I was a witch and she hand beaded a spider on my cape? Was it the year I was a sorceress?
I try and do the same for my children, though there have been times that they wanted store bought costumes. That's ok, I've still instilled a love of the Halloween spirit into them. Each year, I give them Halloween baskets. I guess we can pretend they come from the Great Pumpkin. (They both also love Nightmare Before Christmas - how could any child of mine not? Come on, I even have Jack and Sally tattooed on me!) Oldest has been working a haunted house the past few nights, and tomorrow night Youngest will join him in the adventure as a child patient with a demented nurse in an insane asylum. I did not ask youngest to do this, we went through the haunt, and he wanted to know why he couldn't be in it. We did some asking, and lo and behold, his wish came true.
I still dress up for Halloween to this day, and try and come up with something new every year. This year, I'm going as a 50's pin-up girl, with a Day of the Dead face. I've been witches, vampires, living dead dolls, genies, zombies, and even a bride.
Now wait, before you think, "bride, who the hell would dress up as a bride for Halloween unless it's like a dead, bleeding zombie bride?", let me rephrase that a little. On Halloween, I was a bride. Or to be more exact, on the eve BEFORE Halloween (or in some circle's "Hell night"), I was a bride. That's right, it's almost Husband and I's anniversary!
We had actually wanted to get married on Halloween, but five years ago, Halloween had the bad luck of falling on a Monday, and everyone griped that getting married on a Monday wasn't right, and that they wouldn't be able to make it, blah, blah, blah. Soooo.....we got married on October 30, a Sunday. It's all good though. We still dressed up a little different - my dress was hot pink and black, he wore tails and a top hat with a black and red spiderweb shirt. Our boys stood up with us, one as a grim reaper, the other as Spiderman. My matron of honor was a gothic Raggedy Ann, and oldest daughter (bridesmaid) was a princess. Best man wore an outfit he had purchased in India ( I don't know what he was dressed AS...just know that was one kick ass suit!). .
We walked down the aisle to Uncle Kracker's "Follow Me", and walked out to "Highway to Hell". Our cake was based on the cake from Tim Burton's "Corpse Bride". I made it, and decided to be twisted. I dyed the cake black, and had raspberry filling in the layers, so it looked as if the cake was bleeding - oh, and we cut it with a meat cleaver. We also did our toast to each other with Jack Daniels, out of skeleton hand wine glasses. Oh, and before I forget - our invitations were coffin shaped, our bubbles looked like vials of blood, and out guests also wore costumes! (What, you think I call myself the "Misfit Mommy" just for the hell of it? Nope, Husband and I tend to do things OUR way, everyone else be damned!)
In other words - I figured out how to make sure that Halloween would always continue to be special to me, no matter my age! Even when I'm in a rest home and wheelchair bound, and can no longer dress up, I still get to remember my wedding day. How awesome is that? (Oh, and remember how I said that we had to switch to the day BEFORE Halloween for the wedding? Well, the person who officiated messed up and put October 31st as our date of marriage. I keep trying to convince Husband that means we have TWO anniversaries, but he hasn't gone for it....)
Since I could go on FOREVER about Halloween and why I love it, and all of you would end up getting extremely bored, and decide to never, ever read my blog again, I'm going to leave off with this:
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY HUSBAND!! It's been a great five years of marriage, and here's to many, many more years together! Thank you for putting up with my crazy ass, the fact that I can't sleep half the time, the fact that my unorganized butt drives your extremely organized self to the point of insanity, and so many more things that I know drive you nuts! :) Love you!
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