Marriage

When I originally started writing this blog gang post, I was going to talk about my experiences with marriage, and how finally on my 3rd marriage I managed to get it right.

Then it happened.

I had a friend told by her manager that she could no longer refer to her wife as her wife. The reason she was given was that it "might offend" some of the customers that came in the store. The next excuse was that it was for her own "protection".

I was instantly pissed, in fact I still am.

Who has the right to tell another human being that they are no longer allowed to admit who they love? In my opinion, no one has that right. No one has the right to tell someone it may "offend" someone else, while the whole time they are offending the person standing in front of them.

Who are you, I, or anyone else to tell someone they can't love who they love? You can't control that, it happens to you.

A marriage is a vow between two people to love, cherish, and stand by each other through good times and bad. It's not about one of you must have a vagina and the other a penis. It's no one's business what a married couple does behind a closed bedroom door, as long as it's consensual.

What are people so scared of that they can't "legalize" same sex marriage? Don't give me the argument it will ruin heterosexual marriages. Unless one of the people is gay or a lesbian, it will not effect their marriage at all. (And just a guess, if one of them are homosexual and the other heterosexual, there are already issues in that marriage.)

Here's a novel idea: instead of worrying about letting gays and lesbians marry, start looking at the divorce rate between heterosexuals. Look at the murder rates, the sexual assaults, child abuse, etc. Let's start worrying about something that is a hell of a lot more likely to happen to all of us, instead of worrying that homosexuals are going to try and secretly convert everyone.

I want everyone to stop and think for a minute. Would you look at your accountant different if they're a lesbian? Your doctor different if he's gay? No? Then why not give them the right to devote and share their lives with the person they love.

Because that's what marriage should be about: Love. Respect. Caring. Trust. Devotion.

Halloween - Blog Gang

So, this week's Blog Gang topic is Halloween. I don't even know where to start with this one! Be forewarned that this could be a long post!

Halloween has been my favorite holiday for as long as I can remember. To me it's always been better than Christmas and all the other holidays combined! I mean, seriously, when else can you dress as crazy as you want and be considered normal? Not to mention that up until about the age of 12 to 14 you can dress up, act crazy and get CANDY.....what more can you ask for from a holiday? (We will not get into all the toilet paper, eggs, and shaving cream shenanigans I got up to around age 14. We'll just say that I was a normal teenager, and it was much more lenient times when it came to law enforcement officers!) And that's even before you get into the decorations, or carving pumpkins. Besides, the weather is almost perfect this time of year: not too cold, not too hot.

I've always loved dressing up, and seeing everyone else's costumes, too. I remember when I was younger my mother would try and make our costumes every year. To this day, I don't know what my favorite one was. Was it the year I was a witch and she hand beaded a spider on my cape? Was it the year I was a sorceress?

I try and do the same for my children, though there have been times that they wanted store bought costumes. That's ok, I've still instilled a love of the Halloween spirit into them. Each year, I give them Halloween baskets. I guess we can pretend they come from the Great Pumpkin. (They both also love Nightmare Before Christmas - how could any child of mine not? Come on, I even have Jack and Sally tattooed on me!) Oldest has been working a haunted house the past few nights, and tomorrow night Youngest will join him in the adventure as a child patient with a demented nurse in an insane asylum. I did not ask youngest to do this, we went through the haunt, and he wanted to know why he couldn't be in it. We did some asking, and lo and behold, his wish came true.

I still dress up for Halloween to this day, and try and come up with something new every year. This year, I'm going as a 50's pin-up girl, with a Day of the Dead face. I've been witches, vampires, living dead dolls, genies, zombies, and even a bride.

Now wait, before you think, "bride, who the hell would dress up as a bride for Halloween unless it's like a dead, bleeding zombie bride?", let me rephrase that a little. On Halloween, I was a bride. Or to be more exact, on the eve BEFORE Halloween (or in some circle's "Hell night"), I was a bride. That's right, it's almost Husband and I's anniversary!

We had actually wanted to get married on Halloween, but five years ago, Halloween had the bad luck of falling on a Monday, and everyone griped that getting married on a Monday wasn't right, and that they wouldn't be able to make it, blah, blah, blah. Soooo.....we got married on October 30, a Sunday. It's all good though. We still dressed up a little different - my dress was hot pink and black, he wore tails and a top hat with a black and red spiderweb shirt. Our boys stood up with us, one as a grim reaper, the other as Spiderman. My matron of honor was a gothic Raggedy Ann, and oldest daughter (bridesmaid) was a princess. Best man wore an outfit he had purchased in India ( I don't know what he was dressed AS...just know that was one kick ass suit!). .

We walked down the aisle to Uncle Kracker's "Follow Me", and walked out to "Highway to Hell". Our cake was based on the cake from Tim Burton's "Corpse Bride". I made it, and decided to be twisted. I dyed the cake black, and had raspberry filling in the layers, so it looked as if the cake was bleeding - oh, and we cut it with a meat cleaver. We also did our toast to each other with Jack Daniels, out of skeleton hand wine glasses. Oh, and before I forget - our invitations were coffin shaped, our  bubbles looked like vials of blood, and out guests also wore costumes! (What, you think I call myself the "Misfit Mommy" just for the hell of it? Nope, Husband and I tend to do things OUR way, everyone else be damned!)

In other words - I figured out how to make sure that Halloween would always continue to be special to me, no matter my age! Even when I'm in a rest home and wheelchair bound, and can no longer dress up, I still get to remember my wedding day. How awesome is that?  (Oh, and remember how I said that we had to switch to the day BEFORE Halloween for the wedding? Well, the person who officiated messed up and put October 31st as our date of marriage. I keep trying to convince Husband that means we have TWO anniversaries, but he hasn't gone for it....)

Since I could go on FOREVER about Halloween and why I love it, and all of you would end up getting extremely bored, and decide to never, ever read my blog again, I'm going to leave off with this:

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY HUSBAND!! It's been a great five years of marriage, and here's to many, many more years together! Thank you for putting up with my crazy ass, the fact that I can't sleep half the time, the fact that my unorganized butt drives your extremely organized self to the point of insanity, and so many more things that I know drive you nuts! :) Love you!

Happiness

Happiness....what exactly does this word mean? I could ask 100 people, and get 100 different answers.

Instead of doing a "happiness in general" post, I'm going to concentrate on what happiness means to me. (Even to me, it means different things on different days!)

I don't place my happiness on things other people might. Instead, I find it in the simple things in life. The IMPORTANT things in life. I don't need a new car, a huge bank account, or popularity.

I simply look at everyday things, and find my true happiness in them!

So, in a totally different approach, here's a list of things that bring ME joy and happiness:

(totally random order, so please, don't read anything into what spot you may be in!)

~ an unexpected hug from one of my children

 ~ sitting on the couch, relaxing & holding hands with Husband

~ a penny I find that's heads up on the ground

~ a butterfly flying by long after they are supposed to be gone for the fall/winter

~ accomplishing a goal I've set for myself

~ random acts of kindness (big or small) done for complete strangers

~ finding a pair of jeans that fit perfectly

~ the love of a family

~ an "inside joke" only my true friends would ever understand

~ freshly washed sheets

~ being able to act like a child & be carefree if only for an hour or two

~ the way Husband still looks at me like he did the day we first met

~ celebrating everyday events (I did the laundry? That's means for a celebration!)

~ finding out I have followers on my blog
      ~bonus happiness: when my followers actually read my blog and leave comments!

~ looking at a piece of art I've created and thinking I accomplished what I was after


There's many, many more things that bring me happiness, but there is not enough room on this page to even begin to list them all!

I know a lot of the other bloggers are probably going to find deep meanings to happiness, and there is nothing wrong with that. We are each different and unique, and that's what makes the blog world a fantastic place!