Update

I told myself that I would chronicle the daily life of living with a man with depression. It didn't happen. I would sit down to write, and as I started each one, I was so overwhelmed with all that goes on each day, I couldn't even out it in to words.
As of this writing, things have not gotten any better. No matter what I do to ensure that nothing pisses him off, it doesn't work. He just finds something else to get mad over. Most days, I'm not even lucky enough to be enlightened as to what it is.
I love him, and I miss my friend, my confidant, my lover, my husband. But, I am being told the reason that all is shit in his life, is me. I don't know if it's true. I know he thinks it is. That's enough. I can't be the reason he's mad all the time, real or imagined.
I have walked away today. A small part of me says it's the right thing to do. The rest of me is screaming to go back, and help.him find the light again. I don't know what to do.
Allegedly, he's been in contact with an attorney these past couple of months, to ensure that if I do leave, I leave with nothing. Again, I don't know if it's real or imagined.
I don't know much at this point, beyond two people who.love each other shouldn't be in the situation we're in. That makes me question how long it's been since he has loved me.
I'm hurt, I'm probably not making Mich sense. Someday, I will get around to details, just not today....

Sometimes I Just Need To Vent...

<p>So, I know I've mentioned the Husband ans I are going to counseling. We have yet to have a session together. I know how strange that sounds. However, the counselor does not feel that one of us is receptive at this time.<br>
One of us feels that they do no wrong, and that the other one is all at fault. That if the other one would only listen, and do what they are told, it would all be butterflies and rainbows.<br>
I totally get why we haven't had a session together yet, I really do. Deep inside, I know that when that session happens, the next few hours, days, or possibly even weeks, will be rough. Rougher than it even is now. <br>
Not that things aren't rough now. Believe me, they are. If I dare to express my opinion, or disagree with something as simple.as what time we should leave, I get the anger, the being ignored.<br>
The past few months, my new "punishment" is that he refuses to sit.at the dinner table with us. Everything can be going great, then I say that I don't agree with some thing or another. BAM!! It's yelling, then he's off to the bedroom, TV on. I tell.him dinner is ready, and I get told to shut the fuck up, to go away, and that he's not hungry. Somewhere in there will be a snide remark about how he has no say so, and is "only a paycheck". It doesn't matter that we both work and make similar incomes. Anyway, the kids and I will go ahead and eat. About 30 minutes later, he will venture.out of the bedroom, and do one of three things:
1) Sneer at whatever I've made,.shove the plate across the table, and make something of his own,  2) Actually eat what I've cooked, but mutter under.his breath the whole time,.or 3) Do either of the above and take off back to the bedroom to eat, slamming the door for added effect.
I'll admit that the.first few times, I was deeply hurt. Then, I started getting pissed. How dare he get on to the kids for.throwing tantrums and.pouting, when he's one of the.best in the house at it??